Bill McSciFi's Blog

Let’s start with a trigger warning. If you are easily offended by religious satire or nudity, you might want to pass on this email. Then again, if you signed up for this, odds are you’ve got a grip on the weirdness that falls out of my brain. After all, The Brittle Riders has an entire race of New Testament-loving giant cockroaches and a mutant cow who dearly loves the Holy Quran. The first book in the series has an early scene featuring two female characters wiping dew off their naked breasts with a stolen bar rag. But when you add in the other stuff, like a plot and biting social commentary, you end up with a kick-ass review from Kirkus Reviews.

Keep in mind that, in the books, people like Edward Q. Rohta and others wanted to prove their supremecy by invalidating any beliefs but belief in profit. The old gods were there to be denigrated and exploited. But, also in the book, these creatures, created solely as slaves, created new lives, developed new societies, and reset how gods are defined.

Or, to quote the Goptri Manish in Goptri of the Mists: Kitaab Ek, “(W)hen I make love to my wife, I can create life. When I marched on the Technarcy, I rained death. Those are the powers of a god last I checked. If you look around, these are powers shared by all to one extent or another. Living on a world full of gods who walk on mortal soil makes for an interesting future, don’t you think?”

If you’re curious but not willing to compeletely commit, I understand. To help you out I’ve started a promotion in conjunction with Book Funnel. All you need to do is CLICK HERE and you can read a PDF of Book 1 for free. Go ahead, you know you want to. If you want more free stuff from Book Funnel just CLICK HERE to join the fun on Facebook.

Okay, moving on.

Today’s newsletter is a bit more focused on image than I’m normally comfortable with. Also, I’ve been told by smart people that occasionally letting my guard down and talking about some simple shit in my life will make me more relatable. Okay, Kumbaya bitches.

The lovely and patient Rhylee Madison, a licensed follicle goddess, does her level best to make me look human. She slaves away at Jonathan Kane, turning troglodytes like me into passable humanoids. She also recently got promoted. While my intellect knows that her promotion has nothing to do with me, my ego is sure that it’s exclusively due to her ability to make me look presentable that earned it for her. It is, after all, a Herculean task. Either way, she deserves every accolade.

Now, onto the boobs and beasts section of today’s newsletter.

As we slowly develop my writing into visual mediums, the question of “What do these creatures really look like?” comes to the fore. We worked with some fantasy artists but never quite got what was presented. So, overcoming the fear of the unknown, I dove deep into AI. And I learned something. Ninety percent or more of graphic AI programs aren’t worth shit. Sure, they can show Superman kissing Elsa to create a Super Elsa. But that’s not worth much at the end of the day. If you’re lonely, there are several create-a-date templates you can find. I’ve never been that lonely. But, after lots of frustration, I found two companies that work.

The first company that worked with what I needed is Reve.ai. The cool kids know that “reve” is French for dream, and that fits here. They can help make your dreams come alive. They don’t allow NSFW content, and they don’t scour the web stealing stuff. It’s a lot of algorithms tied into databases. I got a lot done there and was able to tweak prompts using their advice, so things look more pro. The main service is provided at no charge at the moment, so feel free to give it a go.

The next company is Ninja.ai. They allow some NSFW content, but no p*rn. Which is fine by me. But they can help create nearly hyper-realistic images that convey exactly what I need. If you see boobs below, they’re courtesy of the nice folks at Ninja. If that is something you want to try, they offer six free character creations per day.

Lastly, Spreadshirt has added more products, and I have added more images, so now you can festoon your whole family in the latest McSciFi gear. Just CLICK HERE to wallow in the awesomeness of it all.

If you want to meet me in the flesh talk about stuff, I’ll be at the Warrenville Public Library from 10 AM until 3 PM. You would be eligible to win a free signed copy of The Brittle Riders’ Omnibus.

You know what? This was nice. I’ve been laying back so I don’t bombard you with crap. But, sometimes it’s nice to just have some fun and give you a peek under the hood. Thanks for tagging along, and I’ll see you soon.

Greetings and salutations. Today I kicked off my adventures among the living by going to Raymond Olejniczak-Illarde’s First Communion. Life had gotten in the way when he was young, but now that he’s fifteen, he jumped at the chance to embrace the ceremony. I’ve been friends with his mom for a long time and was honored to be invited. Simply put, the universe is getting a fine young man, and it could surely use one.

See? I do normal stuff, too.

In more traditional McSciFi news, I recently did two interviews. The first, with Gabriel Carcia a/k/a The Wandering Scribe covered a lot of ground. As he said, “Bill ‘McSciFi’ McCormick is an award-winning and critically acclaimed science fiction author, publisher, and raconteur celebrated for his vivid storytelling and unique blend of sci-fi, humor, and social commentary. Known affectionately by fans as “McSciFi,” Bill has carved a niche in speculative fiction with works that challenge conventional narratives while exploring complex characters and futuristic worlds.” It’s nice being interviewed by someone who is knowledgeable about your work.

However, the inverse can be equally true. I was just interviewed by Jenil Vyas (English with Jenil). As you may gather by the title, it is about learning English. This was my second interview in India, and it was a blast. He was more interested in me as a person. So, it wasn’t until about halflway through that we steered into, “From there, we ventured into more speculative territory, chatting about aliens and the role of extraterrestrial life in both fiction and pop culture. Bill’s take on how science fiction addresses humanity’s hopes, fears, and curiosity about the unknown was both enlightening and thought-provoking.” My writing was an afterthought, and I found it refreshing. If you want to know my opinion on Tom Cruise, and who doesn’t, then this is the interview for you.

As many of you know, we’ve been offering free pub for any cosplayers who cosplay a character from any of the novels set in The Brittle Riders’ universe. Some folks were a little overenthusiastic. Their submissions would be in line with stuff my buddy George would use at Hustler Magazine. Others were perfectly fine but the models had neglected to tell their spouses they were doing this and I ended up in the middle of discussions I don’t need to be involved in.

Nowhere in my CV does it say “Relationship Counsellor.”

All that being said, here are McSciFi’s McCosplay McRules. Simply put, if you’re under 18, don’t send any pics that will get your favorite Mr. McSciFi thrown in jail. If you’re over 18, make sure your family won’t threaten to kill me, or sue me, or both.

Along those lines, we have been trying to get more realistic versions of the characters to the people who are trying to make my scribblings into a movie or streaming offering.

That’s STREAMING, not steaming.

To accomplish that, I have been working with an AI artist. You can’t just plug my characters into an AI engine and expect anything useful. Trust me. Some very smart and talented people have tried.

What we do, instead, is create one part, let’s say, the tentacles for the Pearl character. Then we create the jewelry, the torso, the face, and finally add a bindi. Only then do we assemble everything into a single character.

So far, everyone involved has been pleased with the results. The hand-drawn images, below, are excellent introductions, and I love them dearly, but we need, as one artist so delicately noted, “to smell the fur, taste the fear, and want to sleep with at least two of them.”

We’re getting there. Until next time, stay safe and sane.

Welcome back and howdy hi to all the kids in the back. I’ve got some exciting news to share, but you probably guessed that from the subject line. However, before we begin, I’d like to address two things that keep coming up in the cards and letters I get, also known as emails. First and foremost, the movie deal is moving along according to plan. Sharing anything now would be akin to sharing notes from a board meeting filled with sad accountants. We have to do the boring stuff so we can plan for the exciting stuff.

Second, there is no time limit, and there are no prizes, involved with cosplaying McSciFi. The idea wasn’t to load up on professional cosplayers. The whole cosplay promotion was designed to be something fun for regular fans to participate in. In the future, we may hire models to portray these characters. But, more likely, we’ll use stills of the actors instead. That would make more sense. At least to me. Of course, no one asked me, but here we are.

Okay, onto the news.

Hadithi Sambamba Comix has come to terms with Drive Thru Comics to be distributed internationally, with both physical and digital copies. This solves several issues. First, the cost of printing and mailing comics is so volatile right now indie creators can’t plan. The new tarrifs just bankrupted multiple Kickstarter campaigns that simply couldn’t absorb the massive cost increases. Even if you’re using an American printer, odds are they are buying their paper from China. The second issue that got fixed is that their online store requires proof of age before buying some of our titles. It hasn’t been a big problem, but it has been a problem. Now, when you go to Hadithi’s online store at Drive Thru you will be asked to set up an account that allows more mature content. It takes less than a minute and removes that annoying issue. Bonus? Once done, you never need to do it again.

Deep breath. There’s more.

This year, I entered The Brittle Riders in a contest held by the LA BookFest. Many of you joined my mailing list when I appeared at the BookFest in 2020. By the way, thanks for sticking around. Anyway, like I said, I entered The Brittle Riders. I wanted to see what internationally published authors, promoters, publicists, and so on thought of it. After all, if we’re making this into a movie, it might be nice to have nice important people saying nice things about it before it gets filmed. And, hoo boy, did they ever say nice things. They voted it the #1 Dystopian Sci-Fi book of the year. Can’t really ask for more than that.

More importantly, for my publisher Azoth Khem, Margret Trebier also placed first for her incredible tome, Japanese Robots Love to Dance in the Humorous Sci-Fi category. While that’s great for her, for Azoth Khem it means they are one of the few, if not the only, publisher with two winning titles in the same year. All of the work that Nancy Chandler has been putting in with editing, packaging, and hand holding is paying off across the board. Readers are really digging this company.

Like I like to tell people, I write good stories, but Nancy makes them readable. She is a big part of the reason I have won three Best Sci-Fi Author awards and gotten two kick ass reviews from Kirkus Reviews. These things don’t happen by accident.

Just like with the movie I began today’s newsletter with, it’s the stuff that happens behind the scenes that makes all the cool stuff you see possible.

As always, feel free to write with any comments, criticisms, or questions you may have. Until then, stay safe and sane.

Well, now that The Brittle Riders and Goptri of the Mists are complete and in the can, the latter getting its final formatting by the lovely, talented, and woefully overworked Nancy Chandler. I first started gathering notes and having interviews about the universe I wanted to build in 2011. After innumerable fits and starts it began to come together. Then, like some gelatinous creature in a mid-50s horror movie, it began to grow. What was conceived as a 20,000-word novella grew into a 600,000+ word hexalogy. In the process, the series won critical acclaim, and The Brittle Riders was voted Best Sci-Fi Novel of 2022 by the Critters Readers Poll (Critters is slang for Book Critics), and got a rare positive review from Kirkus Reviews.

The always amazing Margret Treiber created an animated short showing what the characters might look like while moving. That’s going to have to hold you while Perspective Film House clears their prior obligations so they can focus on us. We knew all this going in, so we’re just hanging out.

But all that means is I need to come up with something new. And now it is safe to tell you I have. It will be called, unless I change my mind, IT CAME ON THE DARKLING WIND. This is a near-future story, and it’s got everything you have come to expect from a McSciFi tome. It’s got your cuddly hyper-violence, eye-bending, gender-fluid sex scenes, and all the confusion you can handle. Oh, it also has a prostitute with a heart of gold. I’ve never used that clichè, and felt it worked here. Anyway, this will be a thing, and I thought you should know.

The cover you see below is just something I knocked up to get a vibe. It will never see the light of day.

Purple Toga Publications released Rainbows aren’t just for Leprechauns: A speculative anthology, Reimaging colors. My contribution, SUCCESSFUL COLORS HAVE THEIR COSTS, is a whimsical look at how the LGBTQIA+ community could take over the world by creatively mixing colors. Instead of opening work camps for the tragically cis and the such, they make everyone FABU!

The very next day, Protected Books released 2025 SciFi Anthology: The Science Fiction Novelists (The Science Fiction Novelists SciFi Anthology Series Book 5). My humble scribbling, HER LAST, BEST, DAY is unlike any McSciFi you may be familiar with. There’s no sex, no violence, and no copious amounts of booze. It does have a ham sandwich and a robot that slightly resembles Marvin the Martian. Not really salient to the plot, but still there. As to the plot, I can best summarize it thusly: I had the story beta-read by a theology student. He called me a blasphemer and blocked me on all social media. In writer’s parlance, that’s called a win.

If you scroll down, you’ll see me and my nephew, Danat’e. That was taken in 2022 at the Motor City Black Age of Comics in Detroit. Now, he’s graduating High School, just had his pinning ceremony and is picking out colleges. The universe got itself a fine young man when he joined it.

Until next time, stay safe and sane.

This will be brief. If you are interested in cosplaying any of my characters, and it seems some of you are, just CLICK HERE for all the rules and regulations. You have a lot of choices and freedom, but there are still some guardrails. While I have several tutorials in that link, if you need more help with your costume, check out Laura Jansen at Lightning Cosplay for a busload of helpful ideas. I’m referring to stuff she has already posted. She’s not a McSciFi consultant or anything like that.

On March 17, Purple Toga Publications will be releasing Rainbows aren’t just for Leprechauns: A speculative anthology, Reimaging colors. My contribution, SUCCESSFUL COLORS HAVE THEIR COSTS, is a whimsical look at how the LGBTQIA+ community could take over the world by creatively mixing colors. But, instead of opening work camps for the tragically cis and the such, they make everyone FABU!

The very next day, that’s March 18, for the calendar challenged, Protected Books will release 2025 SciFi Anthology: The Science Fiction Novelists (The Science Fiction Novelists SciFi Anthology Series Book 5). My humble scribbling, HER LAST, BEST, DAY is unlike any McSciFi you may be familiar with. There’s no sex, no violence, and no copious amounts of booze. It does have a ham sandwich and a robot that slightly resembles Marvin the Martian. Not really salient to the plot, but still there. As to the plot, I can best summarize it thusly, I had the story beta-read by a theology student. He called me a blasphemer and blocked me on all social media. In writer’s parlance, that’s called a win.

Finally, Goptri of the Mists: Kitaab Teen is done. The nice people at Azoth Khem Publishing are putting a few final touches on the manuscript, and it should be live by April. Hopefully, there will be a preorder link I can share soon. As to how it all ends, I can give you this clue. The nice military lady who has been giving me advice on battles and life in combat asked for a copy of the final book of Goptri. After reminding her it was unedited, I sent it on. Just now, she sent me this; “That ending. You’re fucking me, right? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO You! Can’t! Do! That! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!! Next time you’re in DC drinks are on me.”

As I always say, if you’re going to end a hexalogy, end it with a bang.

You are, as always, wonderful. Talk to you soon.

Hi there. I know it’s been a bit, but I have been a busy little McSciFi. First off, I finally finished the last book of the Goptri of the Mists series. I’m currently going through it with a fine tooth comb and making sure it is worthy of my publisher’s time. So far, so good. I truly believe this will send off The Brittle Riders’ universe off in style. To those couple of maniacs who’ve asked, no, there will not be any more stories in this universe. At least, not written by me. I’ve poured over 600,000 words into the hopper, and I am proud of each and every one. But I don’t see me adding anymore.

Lest you think I am chained to a comfy chair in front of a keyboard, forced to slave away day after painful day, vomiting up words for my publishing overlords, I can assure you I have a life. My Church, FCC, recently held a chili cookoff. Two members of our communion ushering crew, myself, on the far right placing third for my 850,000 Scoville “Zesty Chili,” and John Yapp in the center winning with his “Sweet and Sassy” chili are joined by Joe Nordman, on the left, who placed second with his “White Lightning” chili. As you can tell, my church brings the heat. It was a lot of fun and raised money for a good cause. Our church will be helping a small town in Kentucky rebuild after years of neglect. I have no idea if my church would be a good fit for you. All I can say is that I have been made welcome ever since I walked through the door with Kim that first time almost nine years ago.

Next up for you McManiacs, on March 17, Purple Toga Publications will be releasing Rainbows aren’t just for Leprechauns: A speculative anthology, Reimaging colors. My contribution, SUCCESSFUIL COLORS HAVE THEIR COSTS, is a whimsical look at how the LGBTQIA+ community could take over the world by creatively mixing colors. But, instead of opening work camps for the tragically cis and the such, they make everyone FABU!

The very next day, that’s March 18, for the calendar challenged, Protected Books will release 2025 SciFi Anthology: The Science Fiction Novelists (The Science Fiction Novelists SciFi Anthology Series Book 5). My humble scribbling, HER LAST, BEST, DAY is unlike any McSciFi you may be familiar with. There’s no sex, no violence, and no copious amounts of booze. It does have a ham sandwich and a robot that slightly resembles Marvin the Martian. Not really salient to the plot, but still there. As to the plot, I can best summarize it thusly, I had the story beta-read by a theology student. He called me a blasphemer and blocked me on all social media. In writer’s parlance, that’s called a win.

I have a few more shorts sitting on the desks of unsuspecting publishers, so I’ll let you know what happens, if anything.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that I am joined in both anthologies by Margret Trebeir, who recently joined the merry band of miscreants at Azoth Khem Publishing and has just released a masterpiece called Japanese Robots Love to Dance.

Thanks for hanging out with me. I have some new stuff burbling up in the tar pit of joy, but it’s not ready to be expunged just yet. Until next time, stay safe, sane, and healthy.

With The Brittle Riders being developed into a cinematic property by Perspective Film House, we, Azoth Khem Publishing and the McSciFi crew, thought now would be a fun time for people to hop on board the hype train. Everything at this point is volunteer only. That may change in the future, but after three years of shopping and all its related costs, we’re farting dust.

If you’re not completely immersed in this universe Freddy Noriega of Fredits.net created a tone reel that gives a great overview. A tone reel is a collection of existing footage from other films reassembled to give investors and others and clearer idea of what’s coming.

While many of the characters in The Brittle Riders and Goptri of the Mists are scantily clad in the beginning of the books, and there are good reasons for that, it does not mean you need to be nude to cosplay them. They sell bras and bikini tops and other nipple-concealing devices at Walmart and Target, as well as at many local clothing stores.

In simple terms, if your friends and family would be shocked at seeing your perky nips, cover-up. I am not a family counselor and don’t want to be.

That being said, if you identify as female and feel that the only way the world can be saved from itself is by letting everyone see your pretty nips, flash away. Just plan on proving that you’re 18 years or older.

Speaking of age, you don’t need to be some young hardbody for these cosplays. In the book the characters live around 200 years and all of the title characters are over 40. They look younger due to genetic meddling. But many of the characters in the book are ancient. As long you’re as willing as your flesh is, feel free to join the party.

To you few brave souls who asked for more specific info on how to cosplay these characters, I am here to help. To learn how to create bat wings so you can be a super cool succubus, just CLICK HERE for a great tutorial. If you want to go all in, match the wings to your skin color and get some sheer plastic slippers so you can attach a talon to each heel. If your heart’s desire is to be a mutant centaur, like the Llamia in the book, just CICK HERE for a fun tutorial on how to make that happen. You will need to be a little crafty to pull it together. Also, remember to add armadillo armor to the flanks to complete the ensemble. If you wish to be a wolfen or a badgebeth, use THIS COSTUME as your base, and you should be fine. Should you truly wish to throw caution into the flames, then dressing like a Pearl (a/k/a squid woman) from Goptri of the Mists is for you. Just CLICK HERE to get a cute Disney costume you can alter until you are the stuff of legends.

Just remember to wear a Bindi since her human ancestor was Indian, as in from India – specifically Calcutta, in the book.

Sadly, I have not found a good minotaur base for anyone to use. Keep in mind, in the book, they have hooves and not feet.

Here are the basic rules for anyone wishing to participate.

(1) Yes, you can be under 18 and send me pics of you cosplaying. Just cover up your pretty bits so Mr. McSciFi doesn’t go to jail.

(2) If you’re over 18, you don’t have to wear nipple covers if you don’t want to. We have custom digital ones we can use as needed (HI! FACEBOOK!). However, I may ask for proof of age, so be prepared.

(3) If you’re already a hairy dude, the wolfen and badgebeth are both excellent and easy choices for you. I have others that I don’t have drawings of but you can ask if you’re interested. If you’re a dudine who wishes to cosplay as a wolfen or badgebeth, that costume will work for you too. Just remember to add some facial hair.

(4) Except for the Pearls from Goptri of the Mists, who are clones of an Indian female serial killer coupled with the body of a Cephalopod (a bindi is a must), it is impossible to “race swap” any character. All my chimeras are built on a wide variety of human DNA. As long as you’re human, you’re halfway there.

(5) You can send all the pics you want. I will not use any without your express written permission. Just submitting them doesn’t grant me any rights. Years of experience have taught me that what seemed like a good idea at the time might not work so well in retrospect.

All images approved by you will be used to promote these two titles only. All promotions related to these books will be placed on multiple social media sites and in emails sent by me or Azoth Khem Publishing. You will be credited however you wish. Any additional usages will be subject to your approval and/or negotiations if money is involved.

If you scroll down, you’ll see the lovely, and talented, Phystee Nicole Brown cosplaying as a Haliaeetus (mutant eagle) or feathery succubus. She was the body model for Oshun in Legends Parallel comic book series and has been a McSciFi supporter for a long time. If you need a model in the Memphis area, she and her crew are top notch.

Just send whatever you’ve got to info@mcscifibooks.com so they don’t get lost in my personal email.

Originally released in 2013 on World News Center.

Today is the day we celebrate love. Love is one of those things that comes with some expectations. Honesty, openness, sharing and so on. Well, that’s what it says in the press release. And, for the most part, it’s all true. Valentine’s day is widely attributed to a celebration of the selfless death of St. Valentine. The problem arises when you try to figure out which one. Here’s what the Catholic church, the people who authorize saints, has to say; “At least three different Saint Valentines, all of them martyrs, are mentioned in the early martyrologies under date of 14 February. One is described as a priest at Rome, another as bishop of Interamna (modern Terni), and these two seem both to have suffered in the second half of the third century and to have been buried on the Flaminian Way, but at different distances from the city. In William of Malmesbury’s time what was known to the ancients as the Flaminian Gate of Rome and is now the Porta del Popolo, was called the Gate of St. Valentine. The name seems to have been taken from a small church dedicated to the saint which was in the immediate neighborhood. Of both these St. Valentines some sort of Acta are preserved but they are of relatively late date and of no historical value. Of the third Saint Valentine, who suffered in Africa with a number of companions, nothing further is known.”

But whether it was the fate of the 3rd century inmate who allegedly cured the jailer’s daughter’s blindness just before he was executed or one of the other guys, we do know that by the late 1400’s Chaucer was writing about the holiday in his Parliament of Foules.

For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne’s day
Whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate.

What’s missing from the story thus far?

Some might say that I am missing the connection to the Lupercalia. They would be right. I have not discussed how Valentine’s day got connected to a pagan holiday. Nor did I mention how early Lupercalia lotteries were truly a prize worth winning. If you were an unmarried man and you won, you won a virgin. That beats the living hell out of a TV.

Yeah, the church had problems with that and the whole thing got watered down.

Okay, what else is missing?

If you said “Vikings” you’re one of the people who have been blowing up my email this week.

Let’s trace this back to its source. Tru-TV, like the History channel it’s not all that accurately named, put up a blog called “Valentine’s Day Conspiracy Theories.” Most of it is harmless fluff but then they tossed up this nugget.

The Vikings

Valentine’s Day might have absolutely nothing to do with any of the three saints or the Romans at all. Instead, it could have started with the Norse — yes, the Vikings. After centuries of burning and pillaging and helmets with horns, many Vikings settled in northern France and became Normans. There they venerated a saint called Galantin which they pronounced “Vah-lantin” and which translates to “lover of women.”

How wrong is this? Let me count the ways.

First, St. Galantin is not a saint. That’s easy to prove. Catholics love their saints and they have a web site dedicated to all some kazillion of them. They even have St.s Sergius and Bacchus, the two gay saints, so it isn’t like they’re trying to hide anything. They downplay it, but they don’t hide it.”

Second, the word “galantine,” widely cited on the internet as being a French word for “a gallant lover” actually refers to a French dish of stuffed meats. It’s a very good meal if you get the chance to try it. The word has no meaning in French other than that.

Quick side note, there was not a Normanic person on the planet in those days who would have pronounced the letter “G” as a “V.”

Third of all, the Vikings didn’t lay siege, and later move, to France until 896. Well after the death of all three saints noted above and long after the Church’s early attempts to blend the holiday with the Lupercalia.

Lastly, the Vikings didn’t have any saints in the first place. They had gods by the basket full but no saints. If you click on the list of saints above you will note that the only saints even remotely associated with the Normans or the Vikings are the ones attributed to people who were killed, excuse me – I mean martyred, trying to convert them.

Simply put, the story is horse manure.

So, there you have it. Valentine’s Day has its share of odd traditions, especially in Japan, but it has absolutely nothing to do with Vikings. Never has, never should.

I can’t say “Never will” since I refuse to underestimate the stupidity of some people.