Bill McSciFi's Blog

I was chatting with a person who identifies as human, and they suggested I add some small scenes from the gen-O-pod(TM) war, a/k/a Death of all Humans, in my chimera links. I think these came out well.

Get your free PDF copy of the multi-award-winning Book 1 today.

If you’re not exactly sure what the hell this is all about, hit up The Brittle Riders’ page and find out more.

Three years ago tomorrow I married the love of my life. My wife’s life-long friend, Betsy Nelson Hanzelin, officiated. In the second pic below, you’ll see me with two dudes who were there at some of the most important times in my life. To the left is my adopted brother, Brian Pitts, whose family took me in rather than let me die on the streets, and allowed me to become the McSciFi you know and love. The dude on the right is the legendary Steve Silver who always seemed to be around to stop me from doing something really stupid. I mean, he’s been clocking that job, with varying levels of success, since 1981.

Should you be so inclined, you can CLICK HERE to read the fun story of how Kim and I met, it involves the internet and booze. You can also see more pictures and videos of the most beautiful woman in the world. Now, you may disagree with that statement. In many cases, I hope you do. The human you’re with should mean far more to you than my human does to me. Love, like success, isn’t pie. There’s enough for everyone.

Those of us who work with AI know a few things at the molecular level. First, AI is not artificial intelligence. It couldn’t come within a country mile of passing the Turing Test. The programs available are glorified search engines with graphic capabilities. Some are topic specific. Whether it be science or elf lore, you can find a site built to assist your needs. Now, for the record, I have whittled my core needs down to a site known as Deerp AI.

It has a lot of advantages, including photo-realistic images of some amazing creatures, but the main perk I can see is they have a human design team that will address your concerns. Fully, not just with some mealy-mouthed boilerplate. Over seventy percent of the currently published images on my CHIMERA PAGES have been created using them. The first page shows you images by brand (species) name. The bright red link on that page will let you see them in action. Or, as a fan from Louisiana noted, “a kissin’ and a killin’.” Yes, I am using that line.

Anyway, all of that brings me to this. Most chat programs are designed to please you. During my adventures several people told me I was sleeping on ChatGPT. So, hardy soul that I am, I went over to take a peek. When presented with text related issues, ChatGPT shined. But I prefer to do my own writing. And it did get formulaic after a while. But I was there to make pretty pictures. ChatGPT can work off prompts, but its selling point is that it can work off raw data. For example, I created a detailed appendix for The Brittle Riders.

I fed the whole thing into ChatGPT and let the games begin. If you scroll down, you’ll see two images depicting the title characters in The Brittle Riders. The top one depicts ChatGPT’s take on it all. When I noted that Braarb, the Llamia/centaur hybrid, is clearly described as blond-haired, blue-eyed, white-skinned, and muscular, ChatGPT informed me the Nubian goddess version, who looks awesome, fit the vibe better and was closer to my underlying meaning. Umm? WTF?

After some back and forth, I got the second image. But ChatGPT refuses to make the white woman muscular. I have no idea what the bias factor is there, but I bet there are a lot of young incels involved.

Finally, the bottom image is a hat tip to many of you. It shows the Bit.Ly click-through rate on social media for my newsletters. While the percentages may look the same for some markets, the gross numbers are wildly different. Yet, still illuminating. For example, before I started being interviewed in India to promote Goptri of the Mists, my click-through rate was less than 0.05% four months ago. So, to be at 6% now is a massive improvement.

All this interest is directly attributable to you and the wonderful humans you send my way. You all have my deepest thanks.

Until next time, stay safe and sane.

Around 2:30 this morning, local time, three dickless wonders tried to steal our car. Although they did a few grand worth of damage, thanks to our neighbors making a ruckus, they got scared and ran off without getting our car. We do have wonderful neighbors. And, as much as this is a giant pain in the ass, no one was injured, no one died, and my wife and I have each other and a community of friends who are here to support us. We’ll be fine. Irked, to be sure, but fine.

Two weeks ago, I promised you a new theme song for The Brittle Riders. I know that some of you have been waiting in breathless anticipation while others were like, “What evs.” No matter where you fall, this has been worth the wait. When I was interviewed for Books and Brews, Laura Vosika, the co-host, said she wanted to create a theme song for The Brittle Riders. And, by God, that’s what she did.

With the help of her trusty AI, I believe its name is Larry, she fed all my dystopian info into the cosmos, and it spit back a …… drum roll please ….. Celtic Drinking Song. I poop you not, my peeps. CLICK HERE, crank up the volume, and bust out a cold one. This is the second most fun you can have with your clothes on.

The Books and Brews interview should go live soon and I will share it when it does. Until then, they have posted a short collection of salacious outtakes. Well, not that salacious. Just enough to titillate your whimsy bone.

In other fun news, the server I use for these newsletters went through a minor upgrade and, suddenly, there was a hole in the internet where a McSciFi related website was supposed to be. Since the Google will do the Google stuff and could say unpleasant things about my heritage if it was denied a web page to scan, the crack IT team here at Oficina McSciFi leaped into action, sprained a muscle or two, and cranked out a wonderful new webpage you can use as a convenient bookmark for all things McSciFi. Think of it as a useful collection of bullet points.

I think that’s enough excitement for one day. Please share the links for the song and the website, it’ll mean a lot to my wife. Especially with our three-year anniversary coming up. Until next time, stay safe and sane.

Greetings, fellow humans and all who identify as same. It is time once again for a McSciFi newsletter to tickle your tiny bits. Yeah, Mac Daddy and Cheese Mommy, I’ve got some Zippity Boo-Yah for you today. There has been a lot going on behind the scenes, but I can now pull back the shower curtain (EEEEEK) and give you a peek at some of it.

While we have been using our highly trained tabby cats to get all our ducks in a row, and that’s been going about as well as you might expect, we have also been busting out the Weimann 332 and polishing all our shiny parts so the public, that’s you, can enjoy them. Basically, it came down to two things.

First and foremost, we had to change the Azoth Khem website from a cool, kind of artsy, one into a business juggernaut. Now, when cool people like you click the link, you are immediately greeted by useful information. Here are the authors, here is an open project for you to submit your incredible original literature to and then link after link leading you to the hallowed spaces where your credit card is welcomed.

Did I say, “welcomed”? I meant “loved like the sight of a newborn child snuggled in its mother’s arms.” I’m talking “loved like a taco when no one else cares.” “Loved like a first kiss returned enthusiastically.” I’m talking some serious love here.

Speaking of love, as I was typing this I got notifeid that The Brittle Riders had a new review on Amazon. Since I’m more fun than ebola, I’d like to share.

The Brittle Riders is a wild, funny, and creative sci-fi story set in a strange future where humans are gone and smart creatures rule the world. It’s full of action, weird humor, and great world-building. The mix of sci-fi and fantasy works really well, and the story keeps you hooked. If you’re looking for something different and exciting, give this series a try. I definitely want to know what happens in the next book! – Ana25

Next up came the gutting of the Bill McSciFi website. You may recognize the frame used for each page. It is the old one. According to my late pal Judy Tenuta, we live in a finite universe so time and budget are real-world issues we needed to embrace. That said, I deleted over fifty pages of crap that were linked throughout the site. No one gave a fig’s skin about my history in anthologies. The titles are listed on the short stories’ page, and that’s all anyone seemed to care about. The site suffered from TMI syndrome.

After the herd was culled and the remaining useful flesh consumed, it was time to add pretty things to make those special visitors who live on the bleeding edge of awesome, also like you, say “OOOOH” and “AAHHH” a lot. Judging by the resopnses of the beta testers we let out of the dungeon, mission accomplished. Now, when you go to Bill McSciFi, you will be greeted by clear links for videos and, this seems to be the one peeps wanted, chimeras. That’s right, there is now an image carousel featuring likenesses of over fifty chimeras that live, laugh, and love in The Brittle Riders and Goptri of the Mists.

The number of people who helped me craft prompts so these beings could leap from my imagination into your computer is large and appreciated. The nice people at Deep AI have been helping me create frameworks that will allow easier creation of the things that live in my squishy brain. A few models who orbit the McSciFi multiverse were kind enough to allow me to use pics of their bodies as forms for my humanoid chimeras. AI has real problems with height. So, being able to place a tall model in the same image as a shorter one and say “image one fits model one,” and so on, made my life easier. Ratios were predetermined this way.

One thing all this has taught me is that the internet is a sad and lonely place. There are sites where you can learn how to create cartoons of Superman banging a Disney princess. That’s why there is a lawsuit with an escalating number of plaintiffs trying to stop that. But if you want to use AI like a tool and create something new, that’s when things get tricky.

A quick heads up. While I have been spacing my newsletters out I will be sending you one next week since, by then, there will be a theme song for The Brittle Riders created by sheep farmers in Tennessee.

Not even I could make that up. See you mext week.

It is, once again, Pride Month. The time of year we celebrate humans being their best and truest selves. I have, over the years, stood in front of intellectual troglodytes and hid their hatred from the people celebrating love. Several times they threatened to ball their little fists and give me “what for” and show me how real men deal with stuff. One year, a few local cops got curious about how the whole “real men” thing looked and left them alone with me. The “real men,” and their companion, the Bride of Dumbenstein, moved a lot faster than you might have imagined. I mean, they attained Barry Allen speeds. Now, being honest, there was no way in hell those cops were going to let me lay a beefy finger on them. But the troglodytes didn’t know that and I, somehow, forgot to tell them. Another time, my wife and our friends made so much noise we rendered their protest useless and they slithered into the night, roundly ignored.

As you may have guessed, I do not suffer bullies well. And at 6’5″, around 260lbs, with a history of working violent gigs under my belt, making them go away is in my skill set.

Pride was begun by drag queens and a black trans woman with a brick. Pride has always been a protest against oppression. As long as my fellow humans are targeted, as long as people are classed as non-human and subjugated to terrors for no logical reason, the protest will continue.

Until real change happens, we all must not suffer bullies well.

On a related note, Rainbows Aren’t Just for Leprechauns: a Speculative Anthology, Reimaging Colors, an incredible anthology which has taken the daring leap of including my story Successful Colors Have Their Costs, is free on Amazon from June 4th through June 8th. This is a great way for you to be introduced to some of the best up-and-coming science fiction authors on Earth. I mean that literally as the authors in this anthology pay their bills in countries placed all over the globe. Your discovering them and buying their other works will help them continue to pay those bills.

Yes, even writers like to live indoors and eat safe food.

Now that I’ve got you all excited about free stuff, the nice people at Azoth Khem have partnered with the also nice people at Book Funnel to give away free PDF copies of The Brittle Riders: Book 1.

For the uninitiated.

The end of your world is the beginning of theirs. After humans circumvented anti-AI laws and created new species to fulfill the roles of menial laborers, sex slaves, and shock troops, those creations eventually rose up and killed every man, woman, and child on the planet. This is the world if Frankenstein’s monsters ruled the Earth.

Like Game of Thrones on crack, Apocalypses are funny that way.

That’s enough for now. Until next time, stay safe, sane, and in touch.

Happy Tuesday to you and yours. I just got back from seeing my Primary Care Physician. She has a new Nurse Practitioner who is a hoot. Celebrating every positive result with little cheers. YAY! Good BP! All right, Mr. McCormick, your pulse is solid. Look at you, breathing like a PRO! And so on. While that’s fun, my PCP is also a fan of my writing. Not enough that she’d ever cosplay any of my characters. But, still a fan. She loves following along on the journey I’m on and admits that it gives her an odd sense of joy. I can see that. After dealing with human after complaining human, having someone like me around has to be a breath of fresh air. I tend to maintain a positive attitude and, in one-on-one situations, am even capable of being pleasant. Also, I bring pics of stuff like the characters we are developing, and she enjoys those.

Everyone does at some level.

Okay, let’s get down to some funky bidness.

Your favorite comic megalopolis, Hadithi Sambamba Comix is now being distributed internationally via Drive Thru Comics. For the Legends Parallel fans in the U.K., this is a blessing. No more bootlegging, no more passing digital copies around like they’re the last s’more. This also means that Zak Weber’s amazing U.K. Review is now being shared on a global scale. That man do like him some Legends Parallel.

Our partnership with Book Funnel continues to bring results. The Brittle Riders is now part of an Epic Sci-Fi & Fantasy promotion. Also, here’s a link you can share, to invite your friends to download a FREE PDF of Book 1 of The Brittle Riders. That book has won multiple awards, earned incredible reviews, and acts like an electric will-power enhancer to anyone who reads it.

Yeah, baby, it’s that good.

Something else that is good is Goptri of the Mists. And, thanks to my recent interview with Jenil on his English with Jenil podcast, which has a few thousand dedicated Indian viewers, people have begun talking about it. All of whom, apparently, have LinkedIn accounts. I welcome them all, answer questions, and find myself enjoying LinkedIn more than I ever have. How could I not? I recently spent a half hour explaining that Goptri of the Mists was, and is, not a scholarly discussion of Hindu mythology. It’s stuff like that that keeps me in the game.

Finally, I would be woefully remiss if I didn’t mention Stuff About Things. This compendium of short stories, articles, and historical ruminations has been called, by my loving wife no less, The Gateway Drug to McSciFi. It also contains a copy of the rejection letter that started my career. Hey, you start your career your way, I’ll start mine my way. It is a great way for peeps to sample my squishy brain without making a life-time commitment. More like a collection of memorable quickies. Who knows, you may be inspired to get a tramp stamp when you’re done. You wouldn’t be the first. I should note, it makes a great gift for your adventurous friend who’s never heard of me.

All righty, you’ve been more wonderful than free booze at a clothing optional cosplay themed rave. I mean, you’re seriously wonderful. See you next time.

Let’s start with a trigger warning. If you are easily offended by religious satire or nudity, you might want to pass on this email. Then again, if you signed up for this, odds are you’ve got a grip on the weirdness that falls out of my brain. After all, The Brittle Riders has an entire race of New Testament-loving giant cockroaches and a mutant cow who dearly loves the Holy Quran. The first book in the series has an early scene featuring two female characters wiping dew off their naked breasts with a stolen bar rag. But when you add in the other stuff, like a plot and biting social commentary, you end up with a kick-ass review from Kirkus Reviews.

Keep in mind that, in the books, people like Edward Q. Rohta and others wanted to prove their supremecy by invalidating any beliefs but belief in profit. The old gods were there to be denigrated and exploited. But, also in the book, these creatures, created solely as slaves, created new lives, developed new societies, and reset how gods are defined.

Or, to quote the Goptri Manish in Goptri of the Mists: Kitaab Ek, “(W)hen I make love to my wife, I can create life. When I marched on the Technarcy, I rained death. Those are the powers of a god last I checked. If you look around, these are powers shared by all to one extent or another. Living on a world full of gods who walk on mortal soil makes for an interesting future, don’t you think?”

If you’re curious but not willing to compeletely commit, I understand. To help you out I’ve started a promotion in conjunction with Book Funnel. All you need to do is CLICK HERE and you can read a PDF of Book 1 for free. Go ahead, you know you want to. If you want more free stuff from Book Funnel just CLICK HERE to join the fun on Facebook.

Okay, moving on.

Today’s newsletter is a bit more focused on image than I’m normally comfortable with. Also, I’ve been told by smart people that occasionally letting my guard down and talking about some simple shit in my life will make me more relatable. Okay, Kumbaya bitches.

The lovely and patient Rhylee Madison, a licensed follicle goddess, does her level best to make me look human. She slaves away at Jonathan Kane, turning troglodytes like me into passable humanoids. She also recently got promoted. While my intellect knows that her promotion has nothing to do with me, my ego is sure that it’s exclusively due to her ability to make me look presentable that earned it for her. It is, after all, a Herculean task. Either way, she deserves every accolade.

Now, onto the boobs and beasts section of today’s newsletter.

As we slowly develop my writing into visual mediums, the question of “What do these creatures really look like?” comes to the fore. We worked with some fantasy artists but never quite got what was presented. So, overcoming the fear of the unknown, I dove deep into AI. And I learned something. Ninety percent or more of graphic AI programs aren’t worth shit. Sure, they can show Superman kissing Elsa to create a Super Elsa. But that’s not worth much at the end of the day. If you’re lonely, there are several create-a-date templates you can find. I’ve never been that lonely. But, after lots of frustration, I found two companies that work.

The first company that worked with what I needed is Reve.ai. The cool kids know that “reve” is French for dream, and that fits here. They can help make your dreams come alive. They don’t allow NSFW content, and they don’t scour the web stealing stuff. It’s a lot of algorithms tied into databases. I got a lot done there and was able to tweak prompts using their advice, so things look more pro. The main service is provided at no charge at the moment, so feel free to give it a go.

The next company is Ninja.ai. They allow some NSFW content, but no p*rn. Which is fine by me. But they can help create nearly hyper-realistic images that convey exactly what I need. If you see boobs below, they’re courtesy of the nice folks at Ninja. If that is something you want to try, they offer six free character creations per day.

Lastly, Spreadshirt has added more products, and I have added more images, so now you can festoon your whole family in the latest McSciFi gear. Just CLICK HERE to wallow in the awesomeness of it all.

If you want to meet me in the flesh talk about stuff, I’ll be at the Warrenville Public Library from 10 AM until 3 PM. You would be eligible to win a free signed copy of The Brittle Riders’ Omnibus.

You know what? This was nice. I’ve been laying back so I don’t bombard you with crap. But, sometimes it’s nice to just have some fun and give you a peek under the hood. Thanks for tagging along, and I’ll see you soon.

Greetings and salutations. Today I kicked off my adventures among the living by going to Raymond Olejniczak-Illarde’s First Communion. Life had gotten in the way when he was young, but now that he’s fifteen, he jumped at the chance to embrace the ceremony. I’ve been friends with his mom for a long time and was honored to be invited. Simply put, the universe is getting a fine young man, and it could surely use one.

See? I do normal stuff, too.

In more traditional McSciFi news, I recently did two interviews. The first, with Gabriel Carcia a/k/a The Wandering Scribe covered a lot of ground. As he said, “Bill ‘McSciFi’ McCormick is an award-winning and critically acclaimed science fiction author, publisher, and raconteur celebrated for his vivid storytelling and unique blend of sci-fi, humor, and social commentary. Known affectionately by fans as “McSciFi,” Bill has carved a niche in speculative fiction with works that challenge conventional narratives while exploring complex characters and futuristic worlds.” It’s nice being interviewed by someone who is knowledgeable about your work.

However, the inverse can be equally true. I was just interviewed by Jenil Vyas (English with Jenil). As you may gather by the title, it is about learning English. This was my second interview in India, and it was a blast. He was more interested in me as a person. So, it wasn’t until about halflway through that we steered into, “From there, we ventured into more speculative territory, chatting about aliens and the role of extraterrestrial life in both fiction and pop culture. Bill’s take on how science fiction addresses humanity’s hopes, fears, and curiosity about the unknown was both enlightening and thought-provoking.” My writing was an afterthought, and I found it refreshing. If you want to know my opinion on Tom Cruise, and who doesn’t, then this is the interview for you.

As many of you know, we’ve been offering free pub for any cosplayers who cosplay a character from any of the novels set in The Brittle Riders’ universe. Some folks were a little overenthusiastic. Their submissions would be in line with stuff my buddy George would use at Hustler Magazine. Others were perfectly fine but the models had neglected to tell their spouses they were doing this and I ended up in the middle of discussions I don’t need to be involved in.

Nowhere in my CV does it say “Relationship Counsellor.”

All that being said, here are McSciFi’s McCosplay McRules. Simply put, if you’re under 18, don’t send any pics that will get your favorite Mr. McSciFi thrown in jail. If you’re over 18, make sure your family won’t threaten to kill me, or sue me, or both.

Along those lines, we have been trying to get more realistic versions of the characters to the people who are trying to make my scribblings into a movie or streaming offering.

That’s STREAMING, not steaming.

To accomplish that, I have been working with an AI artist. You can’t just plug my characters into an AI engine and expect anything useful. Trust me. Some very smart and talented people have tried.

What we do, instead, is create one part, let’s say, the tentacles for the Pearl character. Then we create the jewelry, the torso, the face, and finally add a bindi. Only then do we assemble everything into a single character.

So far, everyone involved has been pleased with the results. The hand-drawn images, below, are excellent introductions, and I love them dearly, but we need, as one artist so delicately noted, “to smell the fur, taste the fear, and want to sleep with at least two of them.”

We’re getting there. Until next time, stay safe and sane.