Bill McSciFi's Blog

Once again I find I need to welcome my new subscribers. This is not a bad problem to have. Each week there are a few more converts to the cult of McSciFi. Okay, not so much a cult as an international coffee klatsch. With no pastries and nary a doily in sight. Still, we have fun so I guess it’s all good.

I know many of you have been paying rapt attention to the slow path we’ve been walking to see if we could get The Brittle Riders made into a film. For you newbies, just CLICK HERE and scroll through the last few posts to get brought up to date.

I’ll make a VERY long story short. Last night I got asked to turn over a fully developed script for a pilot. I know many of you are high fiving each other, busting out the good booze, and saying how great this is. Yes and no. It’s more of a good news / bad news thing. The good news is that some companies are interested in seeing what this could look like on screen. The bad news is that developing such a script will require me to shut down for six months, focus on this exclusively, and not make a penny. Or, I could hire someone to take six months out of their life to develop it and pay them.

Neither option works well for me. I can’t afford to pay rent with nothing but my stunning good looks and award winning personality, and hiring a Hollywood pro to do this would cost about the same as a new car.

Certainly, with the connections I’ve built over the years I could get a break on the price. But a break is not free. I’m sixty years old and not some kid playing with a trust fund. I plan on getting married this July, which costs a couple of bucks on its own, so having an extra five figures lying around that I can burn through isn’t realistic.

On the plus side, the people who have been working with me behind the scenes live in the same reality I do so no one is burning bridges or calling it a day. We have a few options, some more viable than others.

The problem with corporate Hollywood, as I have discovered on this journey, is it expects you to be at its beck and call, with every possible permutation of your presentation, at a moment’s notice. I have been called in a grocery store, on a Sunday morning while prepping for church, and have been asked to describe, in detail, the pilot for The Brittle Riders. Because, as you know, even though I have never directed a film, I can whip a ninety-minute film précis out of my butt at will.

Clearly, I have a magic butt.

Also, to be polite, I have no intention of joining the immortal zombie ranks of people who flitter from function to function attempting to get someone, anyone, to read their screenplay.

However, it must be noted, I’m asking production companies to put a lot of money into this so I need to have some skin in the game. That’s not the issue. The issue is defining some sort of worth for my skin. We all already know how much money is worth.

Don’t get me wrong. If I get something a little more concrete than “interest” I’ll dive into the deep end with weights on my ankles. But I need crystal clear justification to make that kind of commitment.

All things considered, this is more of a bump in the road than a death knell, but it does put a damper on my plans to celebrate James Brown’s birthday. There are some very good, and well connected, people who want this to happen. That doesn’t mean it will, but it does mean it has a puncher’s chance. Which is all anyone can ask.

Let’s be honest, a cinematic universe which has Geldish, R’yune, and Sland knocking back flagons of skank while N’leah and Braarb steal bar rags to wipe the evening dew off their naked breasts, all while the five of them snag (allegedly) raw meat off a platter as they plot a violent insurrection is exactly the kind of cinematic universe the world needs.

That’s just the opening scene.

So it is written, so should it be done.

If anything useful happens you’ll be the second to know. With me being the first, obviously.

Until next week stay safe and sane.

Some quick background for the new subscribers, then I’ll get to the raw meat about what’s happening with The Brittle Riders path to a possible multi-media release.

A few weeks back I mentioned I’d signed up with a small agency to shop my materials to film, television, and streaming companies. Since they do not accept submissions, and have limited staff, I was asked not to name them. So far so good. If I’m not being paid to advertise a company I tend to be reluctant to do so.

I was told I was beginning a long, arduous, process but my writing had value and they hoped to capitalize on it. Making other people rich is my goal, as long as there’s something left for me and mine.

Anyway, I quickly garnered a couple of rejections, both of which were paired with positive reviews on the content, so I settled in to see what would happen next.

Two weeks ago another company joined the party, with everyone’s permission, and suddenly I became intimately involved in the process. You see, this new company represents production companies. Good ones, too.

Now, so we’re clear, over eighty percent of their roster is a bad fit for me. The Brittle Riders will never be a rom-com or a musical. Quit asking.

The remaining twenty percent have varying levels of availability, due to existing projects and so on, but all are willing to take a look.

Some more aggressively than others.

I say that as someone who was buying yogurt at our local Aldi’s when my phone rang and a nice lady asked me if I had a few minutes to discuss my book. When we came to the conclusion that I had neither my media kit nor project synopsis on my person by the yogurt case (a fact she was less than pleased to learn), we rescheduled.

Now some companies have begun doing their due diligence on me. That’s fair. I’m asking, via the nice people assisting me, for a ton of money.

I’ll you an idea what I mean. If we created a single season streaming series with a non-union crew, shot it in a third world country, and didn’t include actual talent people would recognize, we’re looking at a budget of $21 MIL. That number, arrived at when this process was starting, rockets up exponentially after that. And does so quickly.

I get excited when someone buys me a burrito so this is all alien to me.

Nevertheless, my name is either coming up in conversations involving people I’ve never met or being queried about through people I know well.

Even so, I might have kept everything behind the scenes a little longer but today changes everything. This afternoon I will have my first meeting with a real production company. One that is festooned with verifiable credits, has budgets larger than some nations, and boasts a staff who didn’t hate what they read. Fortunately for me the people who know what the hell they’re talking about will be by my side to make sure I don’t say or do anything stupid.

That’s the plan, anyway.

None of this means anyone is cutting checks anytime soon. However it does mean, sooner rather than later, a blogger with too much time and too little info, is going to ask “Who is this guy and why should I care?” 

Consider this is my feeble attempt to get ahead of the curve.

My author’s bio can be found here, and a deeper dive can be found here. If that’s not enough, just ask.

Our, Azoth Khem’s and my, strictly grassroots efforts now have The Brittle Riders for sale directly in two countries, legally deliverable to fourteen more, and being smuggled into sovereign places where the very concept of anything related to McSciFi is frowned upon.

While it’s never been a bestseller it’s clear somebody likes this stuff.

Cross your fingers, light some sage, howl naked under the gibbous moon, or just say a simple prayer. I’ll take whatever you’ve got.

When you’re done wishing me well, please stay safe, sane, and healthy.

See you next week.

Over the last couple of news letters I’ve touched on the small clusters of McSciFi fans that exist around the globe.

fan club – /’fan kləb’/
noun: fan club; plural noun: fan clubs; noun: fanclub; plural noun: fanclubs
an organized group of fans of a famous person.
“members of the Justin Bieber fan club”

The Venn Diagram of Bieber and McSciFi fans is two distinct circles. Allegedly. That said, the last couple of weeks have reminded me there are innocent souls who, for reasons that would appall their clergy, have decided some squishy McSciFi is just what they need to get through their day.

And some of those people have gone to extraordinary lengths to make that known.

This is a bit of a read, but I promise it’s worth it, so strap in.

Last week I shared the joy of discovering there was, and is, a Legends Parallel fan club in Utah. They were discovered when they hit the McSciFi Merchandise page and bought all the stock there was and backordered the rest.

Then the fun began.

U.S.P.S. sent the books on a randomized journey across scenic Utah. After an initial panic, where I used polysyllabic words to express my displeasure, the books were finally delivered to welcoming hands and then favorably reviewed. The backordered books will be there this week.

These were people who had never touched an issue prior to this and were basing their fandom on reviews and cool NSFW videos. If someone tells you those things don’t matter, show them this email.

Sometimes, however, fandom takes an unusual turn and you can’t help but be impressed, amused, and mildly intrigued. This next bon mot checks all the boxes.

In late February, 2020, a group of young Asian women living in London discovered McSciFi’s comics. They proceeded to loop me into some of the more fun Twitter threads my old butt has ever experienced.

At any moment I expected them to move on to the next shiny thing, and that was their plan as well. However the pandemic hit, and hit hard. Suddenly, young ladies who were used to being flittering social butterflies found themselves locked indoors and watching BBC.

Left with few choices, they reached out to a small group of people for companionship. For a couple of them I was one of those people. I decided to be reactive. Answer if asked, speak when spoken to, and so on. These young women are over thirty years younger than me and I didn’t want to freak them out.

Soon enough there were three or four of them who felt comfortable enough to chat on a regular basis. And those conversations were revelatory. I have never been a young Asian woman, and it showed. They took pity on me and gave me insights into their world. Then they took more pity on me and started telling their friends I was worth knowing and my fictional missives were worth reading.

When my McSciFi shop opened in the UK and had face masks, a rare commodity at the time, one of the young ladies, named Jin-ah, went out of her way and created an Internet ad for me, and the shop. And it worked. There are now people in Europe wearing McSciFi masks who have no idea who or what a McSciFi is. Thus is the allure of the Internet.

Another young lady, named Xi Xiang, decided to use her down time to learn how to read and write English. She already spoke it. To help her on her quest she decided to purchase The Brittle Riders. Given how badly I mangle language to create larger points, I did not see success in her future. But she read things out loud, referred to the appendix often, understood context clues, and had a ball. During the pandemic, when the lock down loosened, she took a new job in an office. Upon discovering her new boss was a sci-fi fan she shared my book with him. You can now color him impressed.

She also gifted me with one of the most insightful reviews I’ve gotten, “This is the story of what happens if Frankenstein’s monsters ruled the earth.” Yes, this is now a part of my digital media kit.

Later, she tried to share her new found prize with relatives in China where, like Russia, McSciFi is not sold. Long story short; equal rights and support for the marginalized are frowned on in those countries, and a few others. Even more countries have oddly specific requirements or limitations which keep me from their digital shelves.

She decided there was no way she would allow herself to be deterred by little things like borderline tyrants. When she shared with me what she’d done, it was kind of awesome, I shared the story on my Facebook page.

Here is my post (edited to add links).

Technically, legally, and other important sounding words, there are barriers to prevent the staunch hearted from purchasing their, much needed, dose of McSciFi in China. However, as one tenacious young fan informed me, it’s not impossible. I’ll never get a fan pic since they would be posing with illegal contraband and Chinese jails aren’t nearly as fun as they seem in the movies, but I did get instructions on how others could do it.

Thus far this hack works for Austria, Bahrain, Belgium, China, Cyprus, Denmark, Finland, Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, Indonesia, Israel, Kuwait, Japan, Malaysia, New Zealand, Norway, Oman, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, South Africa, South Korea, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand, Turkey, Asia as a whole, Europe as a whole and the United Arab Emirates.

As Jeff Goldblum once sagely noted, “McSciFi will find a way.”

The article is brought to you courtesy of an editor at How I Travel. The author is a human who works for Amazon and is trying to increase company profits even if they must do so at the expense of those silly laws that might prohibit commerce.

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate my fans. If it wasn’t for them, and you, there would be no logical reason for me to keep writing. Not that I would stop, but I’d need to do other things to pay bills and so on.

And, as you can tell, fans can come from anywhere. When I see people post about their “target markets” I laugh, shrug, and keep working on my pronunciation of Xié Xié.

Stay safe and sane and I’ll see you next week.

First, and foremost, welcome to all the new members. I have no idea who you are but am sure you’re smarter, hotter, and smell better, than the sad denizens of the great unwashed who wander the sci-fi section at their local bookstore looking for romance in all the wrong Death Stars.

Have you ever had a simple project take on a demonic life of its own? Like it stops being “insert tab ‘A’ into slot ‘B'” and morphs into “define the quantum root of PI and divide it by the cube root of the Goldbach Conjecture.”

My week has been like that.

As my little mailing list grows so does its needs for space and safety. “Space” is obvious, things like address files are taking up more room than before. This is known as a good problem to have. “Safety” is less obvious but comes down to me being able to ensure my weekly missives don’t set off spam detectors or end up bouncing back unread.

Unread emails defeat the whole point.

Even so, just like BTS, I have some great people behind the scenes who can make this all look amazing and work flawlessly so we’ll get this right.

Moving on.

We discovered – as in someone hit McSciFi’s Merchandise Page and ordered all available stock (more is en route so don’t panic) – that there’s a Legends Parallel fan club in Utah. The next time someone tells you there are no surprises left, read them the previous sentence.

In the real world, since its initial release in July of 2016, Legends Parallel has developed a rabid fan base (see fan pic below as example “A”). They may be “small but mighty” but they more than justified keeping the title going. Instead of creating more issues for the devout, we decided to spend all of 2019 building the brand, attending every con that would have us, shaking every hand not holding a restraining order, and setting the stage to get the title placed in hundreds of U.S. stores as well as released in foreign countries.

Big plans for a little company.

Our partners, present and potential, thought those plans were viable and sensible. We totaled up the results of our efforts, both in hard sales and branding, and began discussing how to make dreams real.

Then 2020 happened. Supply chains got snarled and wholesale prices got jacked out of this world. Our distributor couldn’t ascertain bridge financing or a PPP loan and was forced to close its doors. Postage fees began to rise with no corresponding increase in service. Foreign licensors were forced to scramble just to keep their existing titles in play. There was no longer a practicable way for them to develop and release new product.

And 2020 kept happening all the way through 2021 and into the beginning of 2022.

Much like how nice people don’t talk about Bruno, none of us mention the Nigerian Comic-Con that was supposed to happen during this period. It was purported to be an introduction to a new market, which included brick and mortar distribution and animation studios, while we waited out the storm.

Yeah, not so much.

Long story short, I became more intimately involved with Nigerian customs officials than I might have wished and one of those whimsical scamps purloined a copy of the full trade paperback, a/k/a Legends Parallel Graphic Novel, out of the stock we’d sent.

I then discovered the easiest way to make a lawyer laugh was to tell them you have a contract with a Nigerian company. Seriously, they tend to sound like demented Santas on meth.

Still, given the number of scams happening at the time, I guess we got off cheap. We got, slightly over, ninety percent of our product back. I know others who weren’t so lucky.

As the pandemic lumbered on fulfilling fan orders became a break even proposition. Even so, we decided to keep that aspect of the business running. In as much as a complete lack of profit can be called a useful business model. But the hope was things would calm down, options would present themselves, and so on.

Also, we were helped by the simple fact all of us had other sources of income as well as outside projects that kept our names alive in the public eye and put food on the table.

Because of all this we felt we could nurse this, along with all the other Hadithi Sambamba titles, along.

And we did.

Nevertheless, some good came out of the downtime. In my case I was able to talk to fans about how they would like to see the story develop. What made me happy was how vested in this many of them are. Bonus? I liked some of their ideas more than mine.

All of this means I’ve dusted off the scripts, the original twelve issues were written and submitted in 2016, and begun making some fascinating visions real.

It’s fun revisiting these stories.

When that’s done, and the final edits are approved by Hadithi Sambamba Comix,  Leslie Tejlor can get back to doing that artistic voodoo that he do so well, and we will have this show back up and running before you know it.

There are other titles in various stages of development and I will update you on them as soon as I have specifics.

Until then, stay safe and sane and feel free to spread the cult of McSciFi like a …. never mind, that’s kind of tacky all things considered.

Just stay safe and sane.

First off, thanks to those of you who jumped on the opportunity last week to grab some gear and have it shipped for free. The fact that every person who did so already had all the McSciFi books they wanted gave me a warm feeling inside. Also, my handwriting sucks, so not autographing stuff is a relief.

As many of you know I have been having some of my toes dipped into the bubbly pool of film licensing. What you may not know is that the rest of my toes are going to be pimped to the media for articles, interviews, tummy rubs, and whatever else gets my name out there. And that, as you may have guessed, meant I needed to gussy up my bio and pretend to be an adult. Eventually I’ll get a pedicure.

All of this has also meant that we needed to create an Electronic Press Kit (EPK). And not just one, nope, that would be too easy. We need one for every release. Right now we’re concentrating on my full length novels, but I hear rumblings that may change. Of course, that could just be my stomach.

While I can’t share the EPKs we’re developing as they contain, personal and proprietary, information we’d rather not see scattered around the web, there are elements I can and will share. Hopefully you’ll think they’re as cool as we do.

The one thing that anchors every EPK is an author’s bio. My regular bio has been online for over five years. It also had two typos for over five years. It may not have been the go-to read I’d envisioned. Or, maybe people assumed I was an idiot and took pity on me. Either way, there were typos. They are gone now.

The new bio has been gutted and updated, finally got all references to vodka removed (I quit drinking), added in my professional affiliations (I have a couple), and now clarifies that I can be trusted not to bite people in a social or professional setting. That seemed important.

To create my EPKs we went to an expert. Award winning and incredibly talented author, Jamie Jo Hoang, has created the bible for EPK creation. The only update you need to remember is that Twitter now allows 280 characters instead of 140. You can handle that.

Obviously, if you use that link to create your own EPK please keep in mind you don’t need every single item she lists. Use what you have, I’ll bet it’s more than you think, and get going. You can’t win a race you don’t start.

Success isn’t pie. There’s some for everyone. I can cheer you on without harming my career. And vice versa.

As I noted above we can’t just be tossing EPKs out willy-nilly. The last thing I need is someone showing up at my home at 5:00 AM wanting cookies. But we also need to be able to share useful information. So, aside from my new bio we have also created promo pages for my novels that can be used by anyone else, such as reviewers or commercial partners who need some support info.

Those pages are proving to be useful and popular. You can check out the finished pages for The Brittle Riders and SPLICE: HIT BIT TECHNOLOGY via the links. We are currently in the process of building a page for Goptri of the Mists: Kitaab Ek. It’s light on visuals at the moment, but the reviews are solid.

As always, thanks to all of you who keep following along and welcome to those of you who wandered in and decided to stay. You’re the reason I get to do what I do. Until next week, stay safe and sane.

I get the odd email, from time to time, wanting to know why I don’t provide free shipping or deep discounts on the autographed books I sell online. There are a couple of reasons. First, the people who do those types of promotions tend to have deep pockets, or rich parents, and can afford to take a loss to look cool. None of those advantages apply to me. Second, and this seems worth noting, aside from wish-based anecdotal evidence, I have seen zero benefits from the effort. No serious increase in sales, no plethora of raving reviews, nothing. The “everyone else does it” excuse stopped impressing me when I was nine, and shows no sign of regaining traction in my life.

Don’t get me wrong. Give-Aways, as part of a larger promotion, can be awesome. They can be the final enticement an “on the fence” customer needs.

“You mean I can buy an autographed book AND become a red-headed werewolf? Where’s my credit card?”

While I can’t help with your lycanthropic fantasies, I can help you celebrate an odd anniversary and get some cool gear.

Two years ago this week Spreadshirt was forced to shut down all of its printing and manufacturing plants due to the pandemic. We were all promised it would be just for a week or two. But it wouldn’t be until May that everything was up and running again. And, even then, strict precautions were put in place and many are still enforced. Despite that, orders were delayed until they could get fully staffed again.

That said, everything’s humming along nicely now, which brings us to this.

If you go to my Gear Page and order something to impress your friends and humiliate your enemies, you can add to your joy by discovering they’ll toss in free shipping for today, and today only. The offer is in a little black bar at the top of my page. Just click it and have fun ordering.

To make the effort worth your time there are a wide variety of new colors you can pick from for clothing and you can preview each before you make our choice. Additionally we’re up to over one hundred items you can choose from to enhance your social standing, and we’ve added cool stickers you can attach to your laptop or significant other. Really, S/Os love when you slap stickers on their foreheads. It’s just like foreplay.

PLUS, if you send me proof you bought some gear, even if it’s just one of the stickers, I will refund the cost of shipping on any autographed book(s) you buy. Given the current state of U.S.P.S., that’s no small offer.

And, to prove I’m a mensch, this offer applies no matter whether you purchase from Hybrid Zero, Legends Parallel, or Bill McSciFi.

If you purchase from all of them I’ll light a candle in your honor.

That’s enough excitement for now. Until next week stay safe, sane, and hug a loved one or two.

After a fascinating disagreement with GoDaddy (their policies versus the reality normal people live in), and trying to overcome numerous humans misspelling the name of the company that publishes my comics, we kind of compromised. There’s a new website up with the correct name, Hadithi Sambamba Comix, purposefully misspelled as HadithiSambabaComix.com. The difference is subtle, but it was enough to send people into fits of rage when they couldn’t find what they were looking for. We’ll load the original again in a few weeks. But, for now, all search engines point to this one.

To make sure people are up to date there’s even a fun mini video featuring the Georgie Porgie club-remix of Tricky Bizznis’ hit C’mon C’mon. It’s a neat way to introduce it all.

This was not all done out of a sense of whimsy. Bob: Sins of the Son is in production and should be in your sweaty hands by the fall. Some of the pencil work I’ve seen could stand as art on its own.

Legends Parallel is headed back into production. Given the international nature of the creative team, and the impact of COVID, I’m kind of surprised they’re moving as fast as they are. But, the fact the trade paperback, a/k/a the Graphic Novel, has proven surprisingly popular provides the kind of impetus required. Of course, when your brand’s biggest cheerleader is Phystee Nicole Brown, the body model for Oshun, people will tend to pay attention.

Not only that, but Hybrid Zero is jumping back into the fray with its titles Juggernaut, Jungle Grrl, and Cassandra and the Changeling Sword, all of which you can read for free by clicking their respective links. That assumes, of course, you understand that Rated “M” for Mature is something that will titillate your tasty bits and isn’t just a catch phrase. Not only that, but the multiverse’s first all silent NC-17 intergalactic rock opera, Neutrinos, is about to become a thing you can relish. Just FYI, the image attached to that link has been edited in case you pop it open in front of a person of the cloth or your boss.

I care about the sanctity of your soul and your continued employment.

For those of you who have sent me those “bated breath” emails wanting to know what’s going on with the one movie in development, and the other being considered for same, the answer is “not much.” Look, it took Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson almost five years to get Black Adam to the screen. That said, before you hang your head and whimper about the unfairness of it all, there are a couple of things working in our favor. SPLICE: HIT BIT TECHNOLOGY is owned by a production company and the agency handling The Brittle Riders has been micro-marketing to specific companies that are set up to handle a project of this size and aren’t completely adverse to risk.

Let’s face it, turning a 948 page, niche market, dystopian tome, that starts with the death of every man, woman, and child on the planet, into something people will fire up a streaming service to watch is going to take some work. Since no one has laughed in my face, I’m guessing all is going as well as could be hoped for.

To be frank, and not Bill for a moment, I’m pleased with the ways things are progressing. SPLICE has been accepted by a company which can get it placed on library and store shelves nationwide by summer. That is only going to help everything related to the project. The Brittle Riders is being read by people who think cutting eight figure checks is something everybody does between mimosas. Speaking as someone who knows the joys of cheap ramen I can candidly say I have had some odd conversations. My new blanket response has become “Well, if that works for you, I’m good with it.” Fortunately, I know some great lawyers, thanks to my years in the entertainment industry, so I have protection from myself.

All in all, good things are happening. People are paying money for McsciFi books and gear. Other people are saying nice things about my writing all over the Internet (even in the scary parts) and my fiancêe is still planning on marrying me.

Like I said, things don’t suck over here. Until next time, stay safe and sane.