Bill McSciFi's Blog

I can’t begin to tell you how many times, over the last few weeks, a billion dollar check made payable to me has completely failed to materialize. Nor did anyone magically transfer even a mere million dollars to me in any way. Not even in bitcoin. Suffice it to say, I’m not rich.

I did get a few hundred bucks for an anthology I can tell you about next year, but that didn’t even cover rent.

I bring all this up for those who also follow me on Twitter. Apparently someone conflated the verifiable facts that (1) a successful Hollywood film producer said nice things about The Brittle Riders and (2) I could finally afford to get married and came up with “BIG OL’ BILL’S A BILLIONAIRE!”

Anyway, after some awkward back and forth, they took down the post but things have a habit of burbling back to the surface on the Internet so I wanted to try and get ahead of it here.

Yeah, because that always works.

To quote the immortal Mr. A.L.I., “Back to Reality, Back to Life.”

On the good news front, after burning in the flames of pandemic hell, Nerdanatix is back. This is great news for all the comic book titles over at Hadithi Sambamba Comix. If we’ve learned anything during this mess it’s that being a comic book distributor is hard, and expensive, work.

The good news for each and everyone of you is that there will be a series of promotions allowing you to catch up on the – many ongoing and critically acclaimed – series I pen for free. Digitally only, but you can still buy hard copies, autographed upon request, by CLICKING HERE and having a valid credit card or PayPal account.

This works out well for everyone since we have new titles being released over the next six months and now we can get some nice promo under our belts while, hopefully, whetting the appetites of the uninitiated.

Keep-a-scrollin’ for more!

Back to my evil plot to become a billionaire and the exclusive ruler of Latveria – not to be confused with Latvia which is well known for exemplary human rights, excellent education, and exceptional beers, all of which make being an evil dictator difficult – quite a bit has been accomplished.

The treatment for the pilot of The Brittle Riders is in the can and it’s truly impressive. Just knowing that there is a ‘number larger than zero’ amount of people who want to read this thing makes me nervous and happy all at once. I think that’s known as “giddy.”

The fun part was finally having a legitimate reason to figure out what this could look like on a screen. While some scenes in the book transfer perfectly others would leave an audience yawning. The battle, bar, and other action scenes work beautifully cinematically. The strategy planning, along with the “HEY THERE! IT’S GOOD TO MEET YOU,” scenes work in small doses but not in the depth presented in the book. Simply put, letting a reader do a deep dive into the minds creating an event is wonderful brain food. But, on screen, it’s naught but talking heads and stale appetizers.

So each scene needed to be pulled apart, assessed and rated for it’s visual value, and then added, or discarded, as needed. Not to worry, some of the cool brain stuff survived. It has to for the story to make any sense. But it got rewritten to work on screen.

The other thing that needed consideration was that we were creating a pilot, not an eighteen episode series. That meant we had to get the most Brittle Riders possible on screen in an hour and a half or less. Considering the whole story knocks in around a thousand pages, that required some trimming.

We focused on introducing the characters, the world they live in, and enough of the history behind it all to make it make sense.

Don’t worry, there’s still plenty of nudity and hyper-violence to keep you entertained.

After multiple peer reviews, and more edits than ever should be allowed, we feel we’ve accomplished what we set out to do.

Additionally, promotional materials for the Brittle Riders continue to be created by people who keep getting paid by other people who are trying to dazzle Azoth Khem Publishing and me and who continue to do a masterful job at it. Bonus? Being dazzled is fun, even at my age.

As a side note, if someone offers to spend third party money to dazzle you, let them. It really feels good.

If any of this confuses you, please feel free to ask me for clarification prior to firing off a tweet with fifteen people tagged. It will make everyone’s lives easier.

Until next week, stay safe and sane. Also, and I don’t believe I have to say this, don’t lick random monkeys.

First off, as I announced on social media, The Big Wakeup Call, starring Ryan Gatenby (and occasionally tolerating me), is going on a brief hiatus. I did not say it was “yanked off the air by the man.” Nor did I say “(our) witto feewings got hurt” so we shut it all down. Just for the record, after twelve years of this I can assure you more than one keyboard warrior has tried to hurt our “witto feewings” and we’re still around. Heck over the years I have managed to quit smoking, drinking, and being single. My “witto feewings” are just fine. No, simply put, we’re freaking busy. Ryan’s in the process of expanding his media empire and setting the stage for global domination. Or more money. I think he’d be fine either way. As for me, last week I shared two important developments in the land of McSciFi and this week I will share more.

Scroll down to keep reading. I wouldn’t want you to get bored.

First off, the lovely and talented Cyril Brown is diving back into the deep end with a brand new title for the Hybrid Zero multiverse. For those of you who may have recently arrived, allow me to quickly summarize Cyril’s mad genius. In his multiverse everything happens contemporaneously but each universe is at a different chronological point. So, one may be in the thirtieth century while it’s next universe neighbor might just now be learning about their version of Boy George. It’s a lot of fun keeping those time lines straight.

Thus far, the multi-dimensional epic Juggernaut – often lauded as the perfect skewer for the military industrial complex, Jungle Grrl – a biting satire aimed at capitalist hypocrisy, and Cassandra and the Changeling Sword – a glorious look at mythoi throughout time that has a singing sword and a galactic turtle, are all out now.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

Into the fray comes Neutrinos – a pan-galactic mockery of the music business, capitalism, and anything that gets in its way. Neutrinos is the multiverse’s first, all silent, NC-17 intergalactic rock opera. Think of it as the story you never wanted but always needed. Hearkening back to legendary, and salacious, creations from the 70s such as Flesh Gordon and Fritz the Cat, Neutrinos manages to hide deep social commentary amidst copious amounts of laughter and sex.

Actually, that can be said about all of Cyril’s works.

Use the links above to catch up, if you haven’t already done so, and strap in or strap it on (as the case may be) for another exciting adventure set in the Hybrid Zero multiverse.

As any indie science fiction author can attest, unless the first book in your absolutely awesome, totally epic, series sells around a million copies, by the time you get to the fourth you’re pretty much selling to friends and family only. And the number of friends can be counted on a closed fist.

But, sometimes, reality takes a back seat and starts making out with the sexy beast known as absurdity (with thanks to Camus and Kierkegaard) and all sorts of odd noises and wonderful things begin to happen. Such is the case with Goptri of the Mists: Kitaab Ek. The fourth release in the The Brittle Riders trilogy, Goptri has benefited from a confluence of unusual events.

Between The Brittle Riders generating interest from film production companies to reviewers in Asia trying to make sense of Goptri there is renewed interest in this odd little universe I’ve created. And, because God looks out for fools, drunks, and children – making me His favorite son, people discovering Goptri first are backtracking to get The Brittle Riders and some, but not all yet, are also starting to check out everything else I’ve written. That should keep them busy.

Oh, go ahead and click on those last two title links. They’re brief video teasers for each series. They have pretty music and easy to follow graphics.

Anyway, here’s a glimpse at what some new Goptri fans are saying.

• There’s a horny squid and nukes. What more could I ask for?
  – Mike B
• I never considered giving my spouse a year’s worth of meat for our anniversary.
  – Linda H
• Okay, wow, did not see this villain coming. The evil unleashed is beyond daunting.
  – Aariz M
• No matter how much you’ll want to you can never look away from the mirror McCormick sticks in front of your mind.
  – Tina U
• (McCormick’s) always been LGBTQIA+ friendly, but this subtly raises the bar and I, for one, am thrilled.
  – Ashanti D

That’s enough for this week. Stay safe, sane, and hydrated. I like having you around.

Well, it’s officially been ten days since Kim and I got McMarried. As is common with middle-aged couples, who collect AARP coupons, we’ve been enjoying carefree days of ziplining, parasailing, nude skydiving, and – obviously – zorbing. New readers are thinking “Sweet mother of the immortal possum, these folks have got it going on!” Everyone else knows I’m lying between what’s left of my teeth. Still, it’s nice being married even if it’s more “Netflix and chill” than “Getting tossed out of perfectly good planes.”

Okay, enough happiness. Onto the stuff that justifies my existence.

There are two cool things happening right now. One I can speak freely about and the other I need to keep three lawyers on speed dial while having a representative with a stun gun near me at all times. We’ll tackle the first one first.

Fans of the rollicking multiverse known as Legends Parallel will be thrilled to know that we are back in production. I have rewritten the script for Issue 4 and it is wending its way across the ocean blue into the hands of the legendary artist Leslie Tejlor where he will begin the arduous process of turning my scribblings into art. Since Leslie doesn’t speak much English, and I don’t speak any Hungarian, we have learned to use emojis, sample graphics, and we’ve even stooped so low as to use Google translate. Yet, somehow, we not only communicate, we get along quite well. Our safety net, his daughter who teaches English, has been removed from our arsenal as she got married and moved to Finland. Nevertheless, we seem to be doing okay.

You may have noticed the word “rewritten.” Back in the halcyon days of yore I wrote twelve issues which compiled a single story arc. The overall story will not change but a lot of things have happened since then. You may have heard about the pandemic and some low-key political stuff. While Legends Parallel (cool teaser video via the link) has taken most of it’s social commentary shots via allegories and metaphors, something that will not change, it would be foolish to ignore the world around us.

Also, while some people have micro-focused on the sexuality in the books, more than expected understood we were using boobs and dongles (yes, those are the Latin terms) as flash grenades to obfuscate the deeper messages. Simply stated, we wanted the gist of it all to sneak up on people and force them to go back and re-read everything to see what they’d missed. And, surprise, surprise, surprise, according to the reviews, it actually worked.

There is much to ponder here in terms of thought-provoking issues of race, sexuality, culture and society’s attitudes to history and relationships.

You want anthropological context and sociological commentary? This has jugs of it.

But, yeah… BOOBS.
– Zak Weber – Sci Fi Comics Nexus

Okay, onto the one I have to be veddy veddy, thanks to Elmer Fudd for the verbiage, careful with.

Back in January I spoke with one of those silly humans who makes money making movies. He thought there might be value in packaging The Brittle Riders (another cool video teaser via the link) to producers and seeing if any would like to have some fun and make this a movie or TV show or something cool like that. In an effort to keep it from feeling like Bill & Bob say so ergo it must be, we enlisted the help of a few other industry professionals, i.e. producers, writers, directors, etc., and sent them the Omnibus edition.

To understand how odd this was imagine a conversation that begins like this; “Hi, my name’s Bill and you don’t know me but I need you to read a thousand pages of my mental breakdown, write a critique, and get back to me in a couple of weeks.”

Against all odds they did just that. When the dust settled, and the reviews had been tabulated, they had given The Brittle Riders a 97.92% score, out of 100%, as far as its ability to be adapted into a film related project. The majority of films rated via this method land a little closer to 60%. Suffice it to say we paid heed.

And thus did our quest begin.

While finding enthusiastic professionals is a feel good moment, we needed to talk to someone who was used to tossing around a hundred million dollars, or so, at a project and finding out if they could justify moving this dystopian fun factory up a level or two. Long story short? Apparently this isn’t a bad idea.

A very unique tone and world, reminiscent of GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY meets a MAGNIFICIENT SEVEN/DIRTY DOZEN – type set up, but with a look, flavor, and lexicon all its own. In a world where studios and streamers are looking for IP that’s expansive, both narratively and in terms of ancillary possibilities (prequels, offshoots, video games, etc.), (The Brittle Riders) certainly seems to offer up a number of possibilities.

– Garrick Dion – Producer
Drive
Joker
Nightcrawler

All righty, time to pay attention.

While Garrick, I can call him by his first name as we’re basically BFFs – well, close enough for Hollywood, liked the project he hasn’t cut a check yet. However, just having his review changed everything. Suddenly people who couldn’t be bothered to hire me as an unpaid intern were intently interested in all things McSciFi (all sorts of cool video teasers via that link).

One company has even begun developing 3D renderings of the characters (sample graphic included below) to see if they can justify making an animated series out of it. While nothing is written in stone, hell – nothing’s even written in flowing sands at the moment, they have joined the slowly growing pantheon of companies that are showing an active interest in foisting The Brittle Riders on an unsuspecting populace.

Another thing that has happened is we’ve begun, with the help of people who know what the heck they’re doing, actively creating a treatment for a pilot. Since there is a pilot being considered that indicates a series can (SHOULD! GOSH DARNIT!) follow, it gives you an idea of where the focus is at the moment.

Given the fact that Black Adam took over a half a decade to get in the pipeline, and it had Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson behind every aspect of it, we have to be pleased with the progress we’ve been making, and we are.

There’s more coming, and I will update what I can when I can, but, until then, be fierce like the dino at the bottom of this message and stay safe and sane until we meet again.

Next week we can talk about the business side of McSciFi. Today, I thought I’d share a glimpse into the personal part of my multiverse. On September 4, 2016, I agreed to meet a girl I’d met on Facebook and have a couple of drinks. I showed up and she was running a tad late. There were two birthday parties going on in the bar and, while I waited …. and waited ….. and waited …., each party would buy me a shot every time they bought a round. By the time Kim arrived two hours later I’d drank a fifth of Absolut and was lit like the Christmas tree in Daley Plaza.

Even so, I managed to splash my face with water, go outside to have a smoke, remind myself what consonants sounded like, and begin a conversation. The person she’d enjoyed online was still in there somewhere, buried under the rotting vestiges of what was left of my squishy brain. One thing led to several others and we finally agreed to take a break, maybe even thirty or forty cold showers, for a couple of weeks, and then get back together like functioning adults. That was on a Sunday.

By Tuesday she was back in my arms and we’ve been together ever since.

Like any relationship there have been good times and bad, easy moments and hard, but we supported each other through all of them, never doubting those decisions.

If you’d like to see the ceremony, just to prove I really did it, CLICK HERE to see the video our church streamed of the event. There will be professional images up next week and I will provide a link to them.

For now, JUST ENJOY THE VIDEO and know that you have our deepest gratitude for all the support you’ve given through the years. You are just as much a part of this as anyone.

Stay safe and sane and I’ll see you next week.

This week finds me working with people who have people in an attempt to pretend I can be, in limited amounts, socially presentable. Despite this task being Sisyphean they seem determined to give it the old school try.

Next week finds me picking up a nice suit, doing a final run through of my vows, and topping it all off by marrying the woman I love. The good news is that she’s going to marry me right back so this won’t get awkward.

Hopefully.

Obviously, sales of all Merchandise and autographed items, including all comics, are on hold for a bit. All that cool stuff gets shipped out of my living room and, right now, ain’t no one got time for that.

Still, all is not lost.

You can get all the latest, and ginchiest, McSciFi gear. When you get to the page you will see a variety of images promoting McSciFi and various related titles. Once you click on one you will be given over one hundred and fifty different products you can have that image slapped on and shipped directly to your home. Not just the T-shirts, teddy bears, and such shown below, but coffee cups, mouse pads, pajamas, COVID face masks, phone cases, onesies for your toddler, and so much more it will make your little heart quiver in joy.

And there’s no reason not to festoon your bookshelves with copies of my novels as well as anthologies and magazines that contain my sacrifices to the gods of literature.

Should you want to wander through the radioactive remnants of my mind you have options. You can read through my archive of newsletters or give your earbuds a reason for existing and listen to all the episodes of The Big Wakeup Call hosted by Ryan Gatenby. Besides having me on from time to time, he also interviews celebrities and fascinating people you need to know about. He can even help you live out a vicarious fantasy or two as evidenced by his recent adventures while hanging out with the Sex Pistols.

Admit it, you wish you’d done that.

Thanks for all your support thus far and I look forward to having you join me as we go on more wacky adventures and share additional whimsical dystopian nightmares.

Stay safe and sane and I’ll see you soon.

As regular readers of this weekly missive know they are the coolest, most wonderful, humans in the known multiverse. Seriously, everything from amazing sex to gourmet food just falls in their laps no matter how awkward that may make any given situation when it happens.

“Um, gender neutral name, I can see you’re having amazing sex and there’s a bowl of Bouillabaisse, with fresh caught Monkfish, waiting for you, but could we please get back to your PowerPoint on Tertiary Markets and their spiritual impact on plaids made with pastels?”

These things happen to my readers all the time.

That being stipulated, it is then incumbent on me to give them stuff to read each week. And, to that end, I am about to disappoint.

Between prepping for my impending wedding in less than three weeks, working with the nice people behind the scenes who insist I pay attention to their every word, editing two projects at one time, helping Sci-Fi Lampoon find a real publicist to replace the newt who currently eats their bugs and poops on its rock but is of limited use otherwise (reply to this if you might be interested in not getting paid for a great cause), and trying to be a functioning adult at least two hours a day, I haven’t done anything I can share.

I’m sorry.

The best I can do is point everyone to my video promo page and hope it gets enjoyed.

Unlike the videos on my regular web pages, which are designed to sell books and spell out basic plot points, these are specifically designed to get business people to ask questions. Hopefully about the projects, but I guess worrying about my mental health is acceptable too. I tend to get that a lot.

So, have fun on my video promo page, it was updated as recently as yesterday, make sure to have the volume up since there’s some cool (cleared and credited) music there, and stay safe until next time.

A good friend once said, “You can tell it’s a pro project when absolutely nothing’s going on and you’re busy as hell.” That sums up my situation nicely. As to the “nothing” end of the equation; no one’s cutting checks, no one’s flying me to some exotic locale to interview wannabe Kardashians, in fact no one’s even set up a ZOOM meeting to discuss any of those things.

However, the people who can make those things happen, usually without Kardashians, and have proven track records doing so for others, have been taking up a ton of my time. And that’s okay. Because the one thing they all have in common is that they’re trying to make me better, to make my work more presentable, to make me successful in every nuance of the term.

Long story short, as cool as all that is, there’s not much I can share today.

But I can share some entertaining videos with you. Although that almost wasn’t so.

Fun was had by all when we realized that many mobile providers had recently changed their security protocols. Happy pop up videos, like mine, are now considered a nuisance. In those rare cases they popped up at all they were tiny, wiped out the main screen so the viewer was stuck with no way back, and looked like absolute doggy doo.

That was not good.

Thanks to the hackers over at ANTLUR we got around that and now have beautiful pop ups you can view on any device.

I kid. They’re not hackers. They’re just really smart and know what the hell they’re doing. I am their competency counterpoint when it comes to things like this.

Anyway, due to their kind assistance, you can CLICK HERE and see the latest promos I am attached to. Each is around a minute, or less, in length and each is completely different thematically from the others.

The idea is to whet the interest of those who shant be named – to be more accurate, simply can’t at this early point – and give our people behind the scenes some useful tools.

Yes, I have people now.

Until next week, I hope you enjoy the videos and ask you to stay safe, sane, and healthy.

You woke up this morning, nuked a cup of leftover coffee that tasted like an angry cross between rust and stale blood, opened up your computer to check your emails, saw me paraphrasing the Care Bears, and figured “Yep, the apocalypse is happening. May as well quit my job.”

Before you do anything Rash (go ahead and click, you’ll like it), please be advised that I am suffering from momentary whimsy. This condition is theoretically curable and I am working with professionals to get it under control. However, until then, now seems like a good time to correct a grievous oversight.

It was brought to my attention by a nice human (HOWDY BLAIR! SAY HI TO THE KIDS!) who stumbled across my social media posts that, while there are thousands of you on this email list, not everyone, not even Blair, follows me everywhere. I guess I can understand that. I wouldn’t want you to overdose on McSciFi.

What Blair specifically stumbled across were a selection of short videos being used to promote my various projects.

Here’s where things get a little complicated. While embedding the videos so you could click on a nifty thumbnail and watch in your email browser would be the most convenient thing to do, many email services mark embedded videos as a risk. But I also know how much people like looking at pretty pictures. So, I’m going to compromise. When you click on the little title cards below you will be taken to the video in a new tab. That keeps your security programs happy while you to get to check out all the coo-coo coolness that’s been getting shared.

Most videos are under a minute so you need not worry about being trapped in a podcast or anything. Also, all are being used for social media promotions so they are perfectly safe for work.

Okay, here we go.

Legends Parallel burst on the scene in 2016 to rave reviews and quickly developed a rabid fan base. Life, COVID, and stuff, got in the way and forced the title to go on hiatus. Now, times are different and the team is getting back together to bring you more socially conscious, mind bending, action. And, yes, there will be boobs. No need to worry there.

Hybrid Zero seeped into the public’s psyche in 2010. As it garnered more attention its creator, Cyril Brown, decided to expand his multiverse by bringing me in to write stories and develop the existing ones into something larger. Trust me when I say that’s easier said than done. But it was worth every second. Books started coming out, fans started knocking people over to get their copies (this happened in public – more than once), and things began looking a lot like unicorns bathing in rainbows. Unfortunately, just as with Legends Parallel, the real world intruded and made everyone wear a frowny face. But sad doesn’t equal dead. New titles are in the penciling stage and will be headed your way before you realize your boss thought the phrase was “dining al Fresca” and wondering why people were so devoted to a weird soft drink.

Regular readers already know that Azoth Khem Publishing has kicked things up a notch. SPLICE: HIT BIT TECHNOLOGY was voted best science fiction novel of 2020 by the Critters Readers Poll and then went on to earn a stellar rating from, the world’s #1 source for book evaluations, Kirkus Reviews. That review is being used to position the title for sale in libraries, major brick and mortar locations, and set up foreign licensing. Meanwhile, The Brittle Riders has begun the slow process of being shopped to visual media production companies. Each step accomplished has led to the next, and that’s all anyone can ask at this point.

Not to sit on my ample laurels (although I am trying to lose weight), I have been picking up new projects, working on finishing the final chapter of Goptri of the Mists, kicking short stories off my computer and into anthologies, and trying to keep Kim sane as we get closer to our wedding date.

That’s enough for now. Until next week please stay safe, sane, and neck deep in happiness.