Bill McSciFi's Blog

Have you been frantically scouring the interwebs wondering what I look like without a hobo-esque goatee? Has your life crumbled as you worried how I might look if I started shedding pandemic pounds? Does your boss wear a frowny face when they hear you fretting about the possible fates of McSciFi? Do family members ask if I’ve succumbed to the color bleen? Well, fret not, gentle reader. Just like that time I worked as an exotic dancer, all will be revealed. CLICK HERE to watch Episode 32 of IN YOUR FACE hosted by KingDaniel Taylor. As you may have guessed, I am the guest. My apologies for the homophone. The “homo-” root means “same,” and the “-phone” root means “sound.” Homophones are words that sound the same. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Since we spent the entire episode discussing comic books I’m involved in, today seems like a good day to discuss comic books some more. Like all indies these days I spent the last part of the interview giving shout outs to other indies for reason or reasons unknown. I’m kidding, obviously, I like them and each is an inspiration in their own way. If you don’t have time to listen to the whole thing at least take a moment to check out the amazing worlds of Rik Ty and Christie Shinn. Ahh, who am I kidding? Check out the coolest indie creators in the multiverse at the Independent Creators Connection, home of ICC Magazine.

There are many more (HI ZEE!) I could have mentioned but my brain can only brain so much during a live interview before I start drooling on myself and muttering in Esperanto.

Okay, back to the wonderful world of McSciFi.

The lovely and talented, I’ve decided to start using that dismissive trope for all genders now, Cyril Brown (he of the wildly NSFW website) and I have gotten the band back together and are diving into the deep end of the Hybrid Zero multiverse.

When working with Cyril you can spend an inordinate amount of time deciding which layer of the multiverse you want to focus on, how ‘porny’ you want it to be (there will always be a little), and then, just for fun, maybe come up with a plot so the characters have reasons to interact and speak.

This is not as easy as it might seem.

Nevertheless, despite the complete lack of human sacrifices and ribald orgies, we agreed to start work on The Neutrinos; the Multiverse’s first, all silent, NC-17 rock opera.

The story follows an all female group of rock musicians, and their cybernetic manager, as they traverse space, but not time, trying to make some cash and have some fun. Also, because this is rock and roll, prodigious amounts of beer will be consumed. The fact their live shows will lead to societal upheaval, and the fall of the occasional empire, is just part and parcel of who they are.

Now, this is where my world gets fun. Every single title in the Hybrid Zero multiverse has to, eventually, relate to every other title. That means that the fun time family of soldier/assassins in Juggernaut, has to tie in with the dino-laden soft core world of Jungle Grrl and both of them will have to blend in with the gonzo alternate reality of Cassandra and the Changeling Sword. None of this includes the stuff lurking in Cyril’s TBD drawer.

While all of this is going on I’m updating the scripts and stories for Legends Parallel, tweaking Bob: Sins of the Son to eliminate any references that have dated out, and working assiduously to finally get Pestilent to see the light of day. The latter almost seemed to be cursed. But, now, I see it was like that dream date back in the day. It simply wasn’t ready. Now it is.

Now to deal with the one question that keeps popping up; “Why don’t (I) shop the comics for film adaptations like (I’m) doing with my novels?”

The simple answer is there’s not enough content. While novels create stories with defined beginnings, middles, and ends, comics tend to be fashioning complete universes and need to provide motion picture creators a wealth of material for them to make sense of it on the big screen, or streaming platform, or whatever. No matter the final venue, they need a ton of stuff.

Okay, that should bring you up to date on the stuff I’m allowed to bring you up to date on. Until next week I wish you peace and happiness.

As more and more stuff is happening behind the scenes this will be the last time we chat about film progress for a while. The last thing I want to do is betray a trust and leak information before it’s officially confirmed. And that is easy to do. One minute you’re chatting offline and think “Gosh, I bet humans would love to know this” and the next thing you know you’re getting angry calls from lawyers and you’ve screwed the pooch. As my therapist likes to say “Pooch screwing is not allowed. Now, get back to work.”

One big thing we all are dealing with is the many issues in the supply chain. While major publishers can absorb the hit, and it’s not tiny, indies are scrambling. No one wants to increase their wholesale costs but that means many companies, just like the ones who sign me, are looking for ways to reduce their profits without ending up in the red on every sale or being forced to double retail costs. It’s a delicate dance but everyone is pulling together to make it work.

One blessing is that not everything has to be done immediately. Just as it took three months to get that amazing Kirkus Review for SPLICE: HIT BIT TECHNOLOGY, it takes about the same amount of time to roll out a promotion that will be seen by libraries, distributors and independent book stores around the country. It’s not like sending your Aunt Martha an invite to the weekend Bar-B-Q. There are a few more hoops to jump through first.

Even so, the nice people at ©Watchdog Entertainment® and Azoth Khem Publishing are working closely with the nice people at Kirkus Reviews to get SPLICE: HIT BIT TECHNOLOGY out to the masses. Which seems like a good idea since readers everywhere are just crazy about this book. Even readers in India (readers_judge graphic below) are raving about it. In other words, getting more readers seems like a magnificent idea.

It also doesn’t hurt that the increasing positives are all happening while ©Watchdog Entertainment® is beginning to develop the feature film. Timing is everything.

In other film news, we have begun the arduous – sorry, I mean “whiz bang golly wolly fun” – process of creating a film treatment for the The Brittle Riders’ pilot. It’s not as simple as copying scenes from the book into a template or anything like that. Due to the fact I’m a jerk – sorry, I mean “terse writer” – brief scenes in the book could end up eating minutes worth of screen time. Since each minute of screen time is more sacred than sperm is to Monty Python it requires an attention to detail at a level I’m not normally noted for. Grand epic stories that bend brains? Yeah, cool, they’re my jam. Figuring out which shade of white should be on the third wall in the eleventh room? Not my strong suit.

Still, like SPLICE: HIT BIT TECHNOLOGY, fans tend to gush when they talk about The Brittle Riders. And it’s not just fans. A collection of film critics gave The Brittle Riders a 97.92% adaptability score out of a possible score of 100%. That ranks higher than several major films which were recently made. Additionally, major film producers, like Garrick Dion (graphic below), have had wonderful things to say and haven’t been shy about sharing them. Simply put, this project has legs and it’s starting to walk on its own.

All in all, we’re in a happy place.

Speaking of happy places, I’d like to wish a Happy 9th Birthday to the Independent Creators Connection, home of ICC Magazine, the wonderful place that has honored me by letting me be their Assistant Editor for these last four years.

I’ll have some comic book news for you next week. Maybe some other stuff as well. Until then, stay safe and sane.

It didn’t take a clinical psychologist to figure out I was a little down in the dumps last week. No one had done anything wrong, no one had ruined my career, no one had been mean to me or even all that unreasonable. I asked a bunch of companies to pony up millions upon millions of dollars to make my dystopian nightmare come to life and they asked me to provide them a clear look at my vision. Basically, poop or get off the pot.

Unfortunately, the specific poopage they seemed to require would use more resources than little old us happened to have available.

The thing is, just like there are many ways to skin a cat – please don’t skin any cats – it turns out there are also many ways to successfully poop. Neither I nor my publisher knew these mystical ways, this is rare air for us, but people who bring home seven figure salaries from making movies took time to share some basic ones that had worked for them and others. In essence it all boiled down to one thing: shore up our business team.

To that end, allow me to introduce you to Leeaura Lee and Susan Dunaway. They are not here to expand my social media presence or entice barely legal teens ogle my form. Although the former may be a byproduct, the latter is completely useless to a guy who already wakes up next to the cutest patootie in the multiverse.

Instead, they will be honing my various and sundry presentations down to a single topic each and culling anything that doesn’t enhance the whole. I have tried doing this in the past and …. SQUIRREL!

Their efforts should result in some interviews for me but, more importantly, will allow them to do some adulting and meet with venture capitalists and give us a chance to grow my many terrifying beasts into a money making chimera filled petting zoo.

One of the first tools they can use is being able to share the thoughts of respected film and television producers with interested parties.

For example, this is what Garrick Dion, co-executive producer of CAPONE, had to say about The Brittle Riders in his review to our agents.

“A very unique tone and world, reminiscent of GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY meets a MAGNIFICIENT SEVEN/DIRTY DOZEN-type set up, but with a look, flavor, and lexicon all its own. In a world where studios and streamers are looking for IP that’s expansive, both narratively and in terms of ancillary possibilities (prequels, offshoots, video games, etc.), (The Brittle Riders) certainly seems to offer up a number of possibilities.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

The world’s favorite tale of a wayward teen who grows up to become its most feared super villain, SPLICE: HIT BIT TECHNOLOGY, just got the most important review in its short life.

Kirkus Reviews has been the industry standard for almost one hundred years. Keeping things simple, the lack of a positive Kirkus Review means no distribution to libraries, major chains, and most mom and pop bookstores. They are a trusted source that reviews new releases and tells people whether or not they should spend their hard earned money on them. Given the whelming number of new releases from indie and mainstream publishers, that has become more important than ever. Just because someone’s grandma said something nice on Amazon doesn’t mean distributors should lay out thousands of dollars to stock shelves with a book nation wide.

SPLICE earned a “recommended” rating. On the Kirkus pyramid, that is a pretty darn good place to be. First a book needs to get a positive review of any sort. The majority don’t.

Then, if that hurdle is cleared, books become accepted, recommended, or starred.

The majority get the first rating (which is an impressive feat on its own), a slim number get recommended (which is where SPLICE is), and a rare few get a star. For our first time even trying I’ll take this happily. So what did Kirkus say?

“McCormick offers a blood-soaked tale of upward mobility … An engaging dark comedy rife with retribution.” – Kirkus Reviews.

Click the link to read the whole, absolutely wonderful, thing.

There’s more burbling beneath the surface, and I will share what I can when I can but, until then, stay safe and sane. I’ve grown fond of most of you.

Once again I find I need to welcome my new subscribers. This is not a bad problem to have. Each week there are a few more converts to the cult of McSciFi. Okay, not so much a cult as an international coffee klatsch. With no pastries and nary a doily in sight. Still, we have fun so I guess it’s all good.

I know many of you have been paying rapt attention to the slow path we’ve been walking to see if we could get The Brittle Riders made into a film. For you newbies, just CLICK HERE and scroll through the last few posts to get brought up to date.

I’ll make a VERY long story short. Last night I got asked to turn over a fully developed script for a pilot. I know many of you are high fiving each other, busting out the good booze, and saying how great this is. Yes and no. It’s more of a good news / bad news thing. The good news is that some companies are interested in seeing what this could look like on screen. The bad news is that developing such a script will require me to shut down for six months, focus on this exclusively, and not make a penny. Or, I could hire someone to take six months out of their life to develop it and pay them.

Neither option works well for me. I can’t afford to pay rent with nothing but my stunning good looks and award winning personality, and hiring a Hollywood pro to do this would cost about the same as a new car.

Certainly, with the connections I’ve built over the years I could get a break on the price. But a break is not free. I’m sixty years old and not some kid playing with a trust fund. I plan on getting married this July, which costs a couple of bucks on its own, so having an extra five figures lying around that I can burn through isn’t realistic.

On the plus side, the people who have been working with me behind the scenes live in the same reality I do so no one is burning bridges or calling it a day. We have a few options, some more viable than others.

The problem with corporate Hollywood, as I have discovered on this journey, is it expects you to be at its beck and call, with every possible permutation of your presentation, at a moment’s notice. I have been called in a grocery store, on a Sunday morning while prepping for church, and have been asked to describe, in detail, the pilot for The Brittle Riders. Because, as you know, even though I have never directed a film, I can whip a ninety-minute film précis out of my butt at will.

Clearly, I have a magic butt.

Also, to be polite, I have no intention of joining the immortal zombie ranks of people who flitter from function to function attempting to get someone, anyone, to read their screenplay.

However, it must be noted, I’m asking production companies to put a lot of money into this so I need to have some skin in the game. That’s not the issue. The issue is defining some sort of worth for my skin. We all already know how much money is worth.

Don’t get me wrong. If I get something a little more concrete than “interest” I’ll dive into the deep end with weights on my ankles. But I need crystal clear justification to make that kind of commitment.

All things considered, this is more of a bump in the road than a death knell, but it does put a damper on my plans to celebrate James Brown’s birthday. There are some very good, and well connected, people who want this to happen. That doesn’t mean it will, but it does mean it has a puncher’s chance. Which is all anyone can ask.

Let’s be honest, a cinematic universe which has Geldish, R’yune, and Sland knocking back flagons of skank while N’leah and Braarb steal bar rags to wipe the evening dew off their naked breasts, all while the five of them snag (allegedly) raw meat off a platter as they plot a violent insurrection is exactly the kind of cinematic universe the world needs.

That’s just the opening scene.

So it is written, so should it be done.

If anything useful happens you’ll be the second to know. With me being the first, obviously.

Until next week stay safe and sane.

Some quick background for the new subscribers, then I’ll get to the raw meat about what’s happening with The Brittle Riders path to a possible multi-media release.

A few weeks back I mentioned I’d signed up with a small agency to shop my materials to film, television, and streaming companies. Since they do not accept submissions, and have limited staff, I was asked not to name them. So far so good. If I’m not being paid to advertise a company I tend to be reluctant to do so.

I was told I was beginning a long, arduous, process but my writing had value and they hoped to capitalize on it. Making other people rich is my goal, as long as there’s something left for me and mine.

Anyway, I quickly garnered a couple of rejections, both of which were paired with positive reviews on the content, so I settled in to see what would happen next.

Two weeks ago another company joined the party, with everyone’s permission, and suddenly I became intimately involved in the process. You see, this new company represents production companies. Good ones, too.

Now, so we’re clear, over eighty percent of their roster is a bad fit for me. The Brittle Riders will never be a rom-com or a musical. Quit asking.

The remaining twenty percent have varying levels of availability, due to existing projects and so on, but all are willing to take a look.

Some more aggressively than others.

I say that as someone who was buying yogurt at our local Aldi’s when my phone rang and a nice lady asked me if I had a few minutes to discuss my book. When we came to the conclusion that I had neither my media kit nor project synopsis on my person by the yogurt case (a fact she was less than pleased to learn), we rescheduled.

Now some companies have begun doing their due diligence on me. That’s fair. I’m asking, via the nice people assisting me, for a ton of money.

I’ll you an idea what I mean. If we created a single season streaming series with a non-union crew, shot it in a third world country, and didn’t include actual talent people would recognize, we’re looking at a budget of $21 MIL. That number, arrived at when this process was starting, rockets up exponentially after that. And does so quickly.

I get excited when someone buys me a burrito so this is all alien to me.

Nevertheless, my name is either coming up in conversations involving people I’ve never met or being queried about through people I know well.

Even so, I might have kept everything behind the scenes a little longer but today changes everything. This afternoon I will have my first meeting with a real production company. One that is festooned with verifiable credits, has budgets larger than some nations, and boasts a staff who didn’t hate what they read. Fortunately for me the people who know what the hell they’re talking about will be by my side to make sure I don’t say or do anything stupid.

That’s the plan, anyway.

None of this means anyone is cutting checks anytime soon. However it does mean, sooner rather than later, a blogger with too much time and too little info, is going to ask “Who is this guy and why should I care?” 

Consider this is my feeble attempt to get ahead of the curve.

My author’s bio can be found here, and a deeper dive can be found here. If that’s not enough, just ask.

Our, Azoth Khem’s and my, strictly grassroots efforts now have The Brittle Riders for sale directly in two countries, legally deliverable to fourteen more, and being smuggled into sovereign places where the very concept of anything related to McSciFi is frowned upon.

While it’s never been a bestseller it’s clear somebody likes this stuff.

Cross your fingers, light some sage, howl naked under the gibbous moon, or just say a simple prayer. I’ll take whatever you’ve got.

When you’re done wishing me well, please stay safe, sane, and healthy.

See you next week.

Over the last couple of news letters I’ve touched on the small clusters of McSciFi fans that exist around the globe.

fan club – /’fan kləb’/
noun: fan club; plural noun: fan clubs; noun: fanclub; plural noun: fanclubs
an organized group of fans of a famous person.
“members of the Justin Bieber fan club”

The Venn Diagram of Bieber and McSciFi fans is two distinct circles. Allegedly. That said, the last couple of weeks have reminded me there are innocent souls who, for reasons that would appall their clergy, have decided some squishy McSciFi is just what they need to get through their day.

And some of those people have gone to extraordinary lengths to make that known.

This is a bit of a read, but I promise it’s worth it, so strap in.

Last week I shared the joy of discovering there was, and is, a Legends Parallel fan club in Utah. They were discovered when they hit the McSciFi Merchandise page and bought all the stock there was and backordered the rest.

Then the fun began.

U.S.P.S. sent the books on a randomized journey across scenic Utah. After an initial panic, where I used polysyllabic words to express my displeasure, the books were finally delivered to welcoming hands and then favorably reviewed. The backordered books will be there this week.

These were people who had never touched an issue prior to this and were basing their fandom on reviews and cool NSFW videos. If someone tells you those things don’t matter, show them this email.

Sometimes, however, fandom takes an unusual turn and you can’t help but be impressed, amused, and mildly intrigued. This next bon mot checks all the boxes.

In late February, 2020, a group of young Asian women living in London discovered McSciFi’s comics. They proceeded to loop me into some of the more fun Twitter threads my old butt has ever experienced.

At any moment I expected them to move on to the next shiny thing, and that was their plan as well. However the pandemic hit, and hit hard. Suddenly, young ladies who were used to being flittering social butterflies found themselves locked indoors and watching BBC.

Left with few choices, they reached out to a small group of people for companionship. For a couple of them I was one of those people. I decided to be reactive. Answer if asked, speak when spoken to, and so on. These young women are over thirty years younger than me and I didn’t want to freak them out.

Soon enough there were three or four of them who felt comfortable enough to chat on a regular basis. And those conversations were revelatory. I have never been a young Asian woman, and it showed. They took pity on me and gave me insights into their world. Then they took more pity on me and started telling their friends I was worth knowing and my fictional missives were worth reading.

When my McSciFi shop opened in the UK and had face masks, a rare commodity at the time, one of the young ladies, named Jin-ah, went out of her way and created an Internet ad for me, and the shop. And it worked. There are now people in Europe wearing McSciFi masks who have no idea who or what a McSciFi is. Thus is the allure of the Internet.

Another young lady, named Xi Xiang, decided to use her down time to learn how to read and write English. She already spoke it. To help her on her quest she decided to purchase The Brittle Riders. Given how badly I mangle language to create larger points, I did not see success in her future. But she read things out loud, referred to the appendix often, understood context clues, and had a ball. During the pandemic, when the lock down loosened, she took a new job in an office. Upon discovering her new boss was a sci-fi fan she shared my book with him. You can now color him impressed.

She also gifted me with one of the most insightful reviews I’ve gotten, “This is the story of what happens if Frankenstein’s monsters ruled the earth.” Yes, this is now a part of my digital media kit.

Later, she tried to share her new found prize with relatives in China where, like Russia, McSciFi is not sold. Long story short; equal rights and support for the marginalized are frowned on in those countries, and a few others. Even more countries have oddly specific requirements or limitations which keep me from their digital shelves.

She decided there was no way she would allow herself to be deterred by little things like borderline tyrants. When she shared with me what she’d done, it was kind of awesome, I shared the story on my Facebook page.

Here is my post (edited to add links).

Technically, legally, and other important sounding words, there are barriers to prevent the staunch hearted from purchasing their, much needed, dose of McSciFi in China. However, as one tenacious young fan informed me, it’s not impossible. I’ll never get a fan pic since they would be posing with illegal contraband and Chinese jails aren’t nearly as fun as they seem in the movies, but I did get instructions on how others could do it.

Thus far this hack works for Austria, Bahrain, Belgium, China, Cyprus, Denmark, Finland, Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, Indonesia, Israel, Kuwait, Japan, Malaysia, New Zealand, Norway, Oman, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, South Africa, South Korea, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand, Turkey, Asia as a whole, Europe as a whole and the United Arab Emirates.

As Jeff Goldblum once sagely noted, “McSciFi will find a way.”

The article is brought to you courtesy of an editor at How I Travel. The author is a human who works for Amazon and is trying to increase company profits even if they must do so at the expense of those silly laws that might prohibit commerce.

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate my fans. If it wasn’t for them, and you, there would be no logical reason for me to keep writing. Not that I would stop, but I’d need to do other things to pay bills and so on.

And, as you can tell, fans can come from anywhere. When I see people post about their “target markets” I laugh, shrug, and keep working on my pronunciation of Xié Xié.

Stay safe and sane and I’ll see you next week.

First, and foremost, welcome to all the new members. I have no idea who you are but am sure you’re smarter, hotter, and smell better, than the sad denizens of the great unwashed who wander the sci-fi section at their local bookstore looking for romance in all the wrong Death Stars.

Have you ever had a simple project take on a demonic life of its own? Like it stops being “insert tab ‘A’ into slot ‘B'” and morphs into “define the quantum root of PI and divide it by the cube root of the Goldbach Conjecture.”

My week has been like that.

As my little mailing list grows so does its needs for space and safety. “Space” is obvious, things like address files are taking up more room than before. This is known as a good problem to have. “Safety” is less obvious but comes down to me being able to ensure my weekly missives don’t set off spam detectors or end up bouncing back unread.

Unread emails defeat the whole point.

Even so, just like BTS, I have some great people behind the scenes who can make this all look amazing and work flawlessly so we’ll get this right.

Moving on.

We discovered – as in someone hit McSciFi’s Merchandise Page and ordered all available stock (more is en route so don’t panic) – that there’s a Legends Parallel fan club in Utah. The next time someone tells you there are no surprises left, read them the previous sentence.

In the real world, since its initial release in July of 2016, Legends Parallel has developed a rabid fan base (see fan pic below as example “A”). They may be “small but mighty” but they more than justified keeping the title going. Instead of creating more issues for the devout, we decided to spend all of 2019 building the brand, attending every con that would have us, shaking every hand not holding a restraining order, and setting the stage to get the title placed in hundreds of U.S. stores as well as released in foreign countries.

Big plans for a little company.

Our partners, present and potential, thought those plans were viable and sensible. We totaled up the results of our efforts, both in hard sales and branding, and began discussing how to make dreams real.

Then 2020 happened. Supply chains got snarled and wholesale prices got jacked out of this world. Our distributor couldn’t ascertain bridge financing or a PPP loan and was forced to close its doors. Postage fees began to rise with no corresponding increase in service. Foreign licensors were forced to scramble just to keep their existing titles in play. There was no longer a practicable way for them to develop and release new product.

And 2020 kept happening all the way through 2021 and into the beginning of 2022.

Much like how nice people don’t talk about Bruno, none of us mention the Nigerian Comic-Con that was supposed to happen during this period. It was purported to be an introduction to a new market, which included brick and mortar distribution and animation studios, while we waited out the storm.

Yeah, not so much.

Long story short, I became more intimately involved with Nigerian customs officials than I might have wished and one of those whimsical scamps purloined a copy of the full trade paperback, a/k/a Legends Parallel Graphic Novel, out of the stock we’d sent.

I then discovered the easiest way to make a lawyer laugh was to tell them you have a contract with a Nigerian company. Seriously, they tend to sound like demented Santas on meth.

Still, given the number of scams happening at the time, I guess we got off cheap. We got, slightly over, ninety percent of our product back. I know others who weren’t so lucky.

As the pandemic lumbered on fulfilling fan orders became a break even proposition. Even so, we decided to keep that aspect of the business running. In as much as a complete lack of profit can be called a useful business model. But the hope was things would calm down, options would present themselves, and so on.

Also, we were helped by the simple fact all of us had other sources of income as well as outside projects that kept our names alive in the public eye and put food on the table.

Because of all this we felt we could nurse this, along with all the other Hadithi Sambamba titles, along.

And we did.

Nevertheless, some good came out of the downtime. In my case I was able to talk to fans about how they would like to see the story develop. What made me happy was how vested in this many of them are. Bonus? I liked some of their ideas more than mine.

All of this means I’ve dusted off the scripts, the original twelve issues were written and submitted in 2016, and begun making some fascinating visions real.

It’s fun revisiting these stories.

When that’s done, and the final edits are approved by Hadithi Sambamba Comix,  Leslie Tejlor can get back to doing that artistic voodoo that he do so well, and we will have this show back up and running before you know it.

There are other titles in various stages of development and I will update you on them as soon as I have specifics.

Until then, stay safe and sane and feel free to spread the cult of McSciFi like a …. never mind, that’s kind of tacky all things considered.

Just stay safe and sane.